Morning Looks Good on You - [Shawn Mendes]

Chapter 37

I rush to my car, wiping tears away with the sleeve of my jumper. Once I close the door I completely breakdown into a flood of tears. Shawn was right, he isn't my boyfriend. But that didn't excuse Bree's rudeness and that he could have a complete disregard for my feelings. I feel guilty for snapping at him but he was testing my patience.
I turn the car on and the cassette tape Shawn made me begins to play, I take it out and toss it into the backseat. I sit in the silence sobbing, pretending to look in the glovebox when people walk by.  After a few minutes I take a deep breath, attempt to fix my eye makeup and grab my bag to go and do some shopping. I didn't drive all this way just to argue with Shawn and drive home again.
I spend silly amounts on clothes in the hope it'll cheer me up, but it doesn't. As I decide its time to leave it begins to rain, a torrential downpour to be exact. So I jog over to a nearby coffee shop to avoid getting soaked, I sit by the window sipping on a latte watching people pass by. My mind quickly becomes consumed with questions, why didn't he just tell me he had a girlfriend? Why did he have to bring her to lunch? Why did he suddenly not care about my feelings? Did he even consider how I'd feel? did he even care that Bree was rude to me?
My phone suddenly buzzes and I snap out of my daydream.

SM:
'Central Hotel, 4:45pm, room 495
please come'

I roll my eyes, is he for real? I turn my phone over so it's facing down and continue drinking my coffee, it's 3:58pm so I have a while to deliberate whether to go or not.
I have a long debate with myself but curiosity gets the best of me, as it usually does. I lift all my shopping bags and walk over to the hotel, hoping this isn't going to be another trip I've made in vain for Shawn today. I step into the elevator and use my elbow to press the button for the 34th floor as my hands are full, the put in my stomach grows with each floor number. The halls are empty as I walk along counting the door numbers, 493, 494, 495, I stop for a second and listen but I can't here anything.
I knock and Shawn quickly answers and pulls me inside by my arm. "Wow wow" I say yanking my arm from his grip.

Shawn POV:
"Sorry I don't want Bree to see you" I say. I can't believe she actually came, although her expression doesn't look like she's very happy with me.

"What? Shawn I'm not interested in pissing your girlfriend off, she already clearly has something against me" she says as she heads towards the door.

I quickly grab her arm "no Jen, I just want to explain" I say. "Please" I plead.

"Well knock yourself out" she says dropping her shopping bags and crossing her arms, visibly irritated.

I take a deep breath "Look, the lunch thing" I begin before running my hand through my hair. "I'm sorry, I didn't bring Bree to rub it in your face" I say.

"Elaborate" she says raising her eyebrows.

"She got jealous when I told her about meeting you and I tried to tell her not to worry but she just more annoyed. So I brought her with me and then she was rude to you! I was so embarrassed that I ended up snapping at you instead of apologising. My pride got the best of me" I sigh "I never meant to hurt you" I say.

"Funny, last time you said that to me was the night you brought Bree back to your apartment" she scoffs. "Seems like you're always hurting one of us" She says. I know she's right but right now I'm exhausted from arguing with both her and Bree.

"Jen please don't give me an attitude right now" I say, it's been a long day. "I only kissed her to prove to her that I had no feelings left for you, and I felt so guilty"

"Why'd you have to prove it? Surely she should believe you if you told her you don't" she says.

"Well she didn't, hell I don't even believe it" I say sitting on the bed. I don't know what to say, did I just admit that I still having feelings for her? She has a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend, what am I doing? "Are you really done with me?" I ask looking up at her.
She shakes her head as tears form in her eyes, I get up and hug her as if we're a built in reflex. "I really do hate hurting you" I say, she holds onto me tightly. "Are you sure your Okay?" She nods her head, I step back and take her face in my hands "for real Jen?"

Jenny POV:
"Yea I'm good" I say, in that moment I realised that I never properly got over Shawn. All the feelings I had for him are still there, I'd just buried them deep and tried to forget.

"Good" he smiles.

"Are you Okay?" I ask.

"Yea I am" he smiles, but his looks genuine unlike mine.

"Well I'm sorry for snapping back and for saying you aren't a good guy, you're the nicest guy I've ever met" I say laughing a little.

"Bree told me you have a boyfriend?" he says. I roll my eyes mentally.

"Yea" I say bluntly and Shawn stares at me. "Ugh he's called Greg, he's a nice guy" I say. Shawn looks at me sympathetically, it's clear that I'm not overly excited about Greg. I sigh and sit down "don't look at me like that" I say.

"Like what?" He says.

"Like you feel sorry for me" I say. "It's just been a weird week"

"I don't feel sorry for you, I just want to make sure you're happy" he says. Well I would be happy if I were with you and not Greg.

"I'll be fine, honestly you don't have to worry" I say. "Well I'd better go before Bree gets back" I need to get out of here, I don't know how much longer I can put on an act that my life is all sunshine and rainbows before Shawn sees through it.

"Ugh Yea I guess so" he sighs looking down at his feet. I get up and hug him goodbye.

"This never get easier" I say, tear rolling down my cheeks.

"No it really doesn't" he says. "But I'm glad you came here, I couldn't live with myself without apologising about earlier, sorry again for not putting your feelings above my ego"

"It's fine, all is forgiven" I say smiling at him "bye" I give him a small wave before leaving.

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