Morning Looks Good on You - [Shawn Mendes]

Chapter 38

I search around and retrieve Shawns tape from the back seat of my car before sliding it back into the tape player. I sing along to the songs through the tears that flow as I think of the memories attached to them. I spend the journey wondering how I got into this mess, just over a year ago I was happy with Will thinking I had my life all planned out until it was all turned up side down, and here I sit crying over a boy who isn't even my boyfriend, who is happy with another girl and I can't seem to just let him go.
I drive straight to Greg's house, the guilt is eating me alive, I knock on his door, he answers almost immediately.

"Jen are you Okay?" He asks, I guess it's obvious that I just cried for the entirety of that two hour car journey.

"Yea I'm fine, but Greg" I sigh "I cant do this anymore" I say.

"Are you?" He asks sadly.

"Yea, I'm sorry your a great guy. You deserve better" I say tears coming back to my eyes, I thought I was all cried out for one day.

"I half expected this, you should be with that guy you went to see, you clearly are in love with him" Greg says quietly, I look at him shocked in love with him?

"I wouldn't say in love with him but I do have feelings for him and it's not fair to you" I say.

"Oh please Jen, you looked like you'd won the lottery when he texted you, and the days leading up to today you were so happy, I wish I could've made you that happy" he says.

I stand there for a minute, in love with Shawn? I shake my head. "He lives in Canada and he has a girlfriend" I sigh.

"Oh" Greg says.

"Yea" I say. "I am really sorry for how this is ending, I don't have any regrets about us but I just don't feel like it's working" I say with a weak smile, Greg hugs me before I leave.

I unlock my phone and text into the girls group chat.

Jenny: 'who wants to go out tomorrow night?'

I get get some pizza on my way home, I go straight to my room and avoid all human interaction, I fall asleep easily since I'm exhausted from everything that happened today. The next day after I get home from work I shower, grab my make up bag and outfit before heading straight to Clara's house. We apply our makeup and gossip as usual.

"So Jen why are you drinking tonight?" Lucy asks.

"Yea what's happened?" Alice pipes up, the girls know I seldom drink and when I do it's because something happened either good or bad.

"I broke up with Greg" I say and they gasp before running over to hug me.

"Oh Jen, What happened?"

"I went to see Shawn" I say and they look even more shocked.

"And what? Did you kiss him? Did he finally admit he likes you?" Alice asks.

"Nope, not even close. Shawn has a girlfriends and we had a huge argument but we've made up" I say with a sigh. "But I realised that Greg wasn't the guy for me"

"Well in that case let's get wasted" Lucy says holding up her and glass and we all take a drink.

"We need a photo, this will be our last night out before the new semester begins" Alice says with a frown. This semester all the girls will be over in England, even Lucy is going, she's doing a masters degree in a university in Leeds so I'll be in Ireland, on my own. I was dreading it but now even more so because I don't even have Greg anymore.
I change into my red dress and heels before we take a photo and I post it to Instagram because we all look cute in it.
The taxi takes us to the night club and we go straight to the bar for shots, I'm very conscious of drinking too much as I don't drink often I'm an extreme light weight. We dance for most of the night leaving a couple of times for drinks, I look down at my phone '01:14'.
I wonder to myself what time zone Shawn is in but quickly try to get him out of my thoughts, that was a dangerous topic when I'm this tipsy.
I all of a sudden feel very warm so I stagger out of the club and down the pavement to a bench, I look at Shawn's contact information trying to convince myself not to call him but I can't help myself.

"Hello?" Shawn answers and I smile at his voice. "Jen? Are you Okay?" He says after a second.

"No" I say. "My life's got all screwed up" I say.

"Are you drunk?" Shawn asks.

"A little" I say with a small laugh.

"Tell me what's wrong? What do you mean it's all screwed up?" He asks gently.

"I dumped Greg" I say. "And my job is shit, I hate it, and all the girls are leaving me for university in England so I'm gonna be on my own, that's why I was holding onto Greg even though our relationship was the most unexciting relationship ever but it was better than being alone" I say as tears begin trickling down my face. "Being an adult is kicking my ass" I sigh.

"Jen" Shawn says softly. "Why didn't you tell me this yesterday?"

"Cause you're happy, you have your girlfriend and an awesome job. I don't want to burden you with all my crap" I say. "But I don't have anyone else to tell it to"

"Jen don't ever think like that, I always want to be here for you but I can't unless you tell me" he says. "My life isn't as perfect as it appears" he says with a sigh. "And I know you will get through this Jen, you're so much stronger than you think"

"Thanks" I say. "For being here for me"

"My pleasure" he says.

I spy Alice at the door for the club looking for me. "I gotta go but thanks for listening to my mental breakdown" I let out a weak laugh.

"Okay, I'm always here to talk, bye" He says before I hang up, I walk over to Alice and we got back inside.

The next morning I wake with a killer sore head, I make myself some coffee and beg Grace to drive me get something nice for breakfast.

"Drive yourself" she says.

"I have a sore head and I'm pretty sure I'd still fail a breathalyser test" I laugh a little and then hold my head in pain. Grace gives in and drives me to the closest shop and I get a fry from the hot food counter, I eat it on the drive back home.

"So I phoned Shawn last night" I say and Grace raises her eyebrows "I cried so bad, it was the most embarrassing thing" I say.

"About what?" She asks.

"Ugh just life" I say as with a small laugh. "Just had a bad week"

"Yea how you holding up from the Greg thing?"

"I feel bad for him but I'm glad we broke up to be honest" I say.

"Are you still hung up on Shawn?" Graces asks.

"A little" I say sighing "he just so damn perfect but I'll get over him eventually" I say.

"Greg was so boring anyway" Grace says and I laugh in agreement.

Shawn POV:
Jen hangs up, I think about the photo she put up on her Instagram and how good she looked in that dress then quickly push the thought out of my mind. Out of the corner of my eye I see Bree leaning against the door frame with her arms crossed, I try to act like I wasn't just daydreaming about Jen.

"Are you quite finished talking to your other girl?" She says.

"Bree stop, she was having a bad night and didn't have anyone else to call" I say. "I don't understand why you don't trust me"

"I do trust you, it's her I don't trust" she says. "I can't help it" she says sounding sad and immediately I feel guilty.

"I'm sorry" I say going over and hugging her.

Bree looks up at me "I don't want you talking to her" she says and I raise an eyebrow. "Promise me?" She says.

"Promise" I say kissing the top of her head.

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