A Barrier Meant To Be Broken

My Rubik's Cube For Tonight

Somehow your name keeps reappearing.

Though my heart belongs to someone, you name has me thinking.

These poems I've written for you are historical documents and you've kept one with you.

The thought of it perplexes me.

Why do I know that you kept these sheets?

It's embarrassing when the thought crosses my mind,

To know that you kept it despite his dislike.

This action of yours,

Was a silent rebellion.

That it was a gift so why would you toss it?

Written on it is my raw affection.

Ten pages, I recall, and unedited.

Where do you keep it? I wonder this.

Why does your presence keep insisting that there is a chance to us?

Hopeless dreams and dead end.

When I see you, and hear your name. I wonder why my heart stays loyal.

Together, we have never been.

Bitter, you've shown no interest.

Silence. That's all that's between us.

Yet my heart flutters at the same.

Your name, you face, the memories I have of you,

Are historical documents that you've never seen.

Yet you were there.

These documents you've held with you,

Are they dismissed when they resurface for you?

Do you think them over twice or thrice?

Does the thought of me leave a bad taste in your mouth?

Yet I write about you anyway.

Only on an occasional date.

My last thought when I go to sleep, is not filled of you or the thought of 'we'.

Once my mind shuts down in conscious, some nights the possibility blossoms.

I find myself lost in your smile and your laugh.

Those sparkling eyes and your self-consciousness...

Would we be a match? Are my dreams mocking my life?

You and I could have been but when I wake I'm guilty with sin.

For what we are is not what I wish.

And what I wish is not for this.

However, there are denials that I have faced.

This one I've accepted but have not put away.

-

Inspired by 'A puzzle' written by Daninfinity. Written in 'To All My Stars'

2.24.19

To the one I've always wanted. But want is not love.