Crawling in the night,
are nightmares.
Dreams fly by in silence.
When I wake, my eyes- take a moment to adjust.
Around me, they sulk.
Nightmares and dreams alike.
The heart within me squeezes.
Memories flood through my veins.
My vision is an illusion.
Suddenly, my senses are feeling what is not there.
My ears hear what silence has to say.
Decade old scars are made new.
Agony from them surfaces.
As if, the scars were fresh wounds.
A curse, this is.
Many year have I experienced this.
Waking up, at a time of darkness...
No light except for the moon.
How can I explain this to others?
What drives me to the edge is my insecurity?
No one wants to listen.
If I leave this world, there will be no one to see me at my grave.
All of these thoughts.
They're false, I know.
Even if they speak of a time that I have not lived.
Must I face these terrors so often?
When my body is weak, my mind is a blaze.
My body is strong but my mind gives way.
Between the two are my emotions.
The trust I have is for my intuition.
Without it,
These three parts of me...
My emotions, my vessel, and my mind would not survive.
Day by day.
That is how I live.
Support, is how I survive.
It makes me feel pathetic to not be able to hold myself together without my support.
But I am not the only one,
And I have to remember,
These people that declare themselves as my support...
They chose to care about me.
I don't force them.
They are willing to listen.
All I have to do is be willing to speak.
Silent nights are never true.
If a person listens, they'll hear it.
Anything and everything,
They'll hear what I hear.
Fair warning...
Not everyone is ready to listen,
To the darkness-
To the silence.
I know that I still struggle.
To listen to it.
Without losing my mind.
YOU ARE READING
A Barrier Meant To Be Broken
PoetryA journal of a young adult with a dream. This book contains poems and collected thoughts of their journey that started April 25th, 2018. At the age twenty-two they find themselves stuck between cultures, and more than two.
