The weirdest thing to have ever happened to Evan Hansen was becoming Connor Murphy's friend. Ever since the printer incident, they hung out more. At first, it was just sitting together in silence in the bathroom during lunch, then Connor awkwardly asked if Evan could help him with his bio homework and it snowballed from there. Now, they often hung out at Evan's house after school, doing homework or just chilling together, and if the weather cooperated they went outside for a bit.
It was nice.
But there were still bad days. Days when Evan's anxiety was so high that he felt on the brink of a panic attack near constantly. Days where Connor's emotions were out of control and he was easy to snap.
They tried their best to communicate on those days, but sometimes they couldn't. It was always worse when they were both having a bad day. Connor's anger and Evan's anxiety were not a good mix.
Today was a good day though. Evan's medication was hard at work and his head was clearer. He felt more confident with his words. Connor's day seemed neutral, his face was carefully blank but he hadn't snapped at anyone. They were in the library now. Evan was trying to get through his english homework and Connor was slumped against the table.
"God I wanna die." Connor mumbled.
Evan stiffened at the words. Fear coursed through his body and his homework crumpled in his hands. He looked over at Connor, but his hair was hiding his face.
"Connor, is everything okay? Do you, um... do you wanna talk?"
Connor looked up and blinked. "Huh?" He yawned. "Talk about what?"
"Well, I just, um. Are you- is anything going on right now?" Evan's voice got progressively smaller the more he talked. Connor just blinked at him.
"I'm fine Ev, promise," he waved his hand around and dropped his head back on the table. He smiled at Evan. "Just have a morbid sense of humor."
Evan fiddled with his pen. "If you're sure?"
Connor placed his hand on Evan's and squeezed it. "I'm sure."
Evan smiled back ad gave him a quick kiss. "Now, can you help me with this essay?"
