Going home was a strange experience. The car ride was silent, her mother staring at her lap while her father stared at the road. Zoe couldn't stop fiddling with her shirt, guilt consuming her. She could see the effects of her attempt in her parent's faces. She had never seen her father look so tired and her mother was an anxious mess.
When they arrived at their home, Zoe made her way upstairs. A flash of annoyance passed through her when she realized her door was gone, but she pushed it aside. What exactly had she expected? Before entering her room, she shot a glance at her brother's door, which was firmly shut. Her grip on her bag tightened and she went to her bed.
During dinner, it was only Zoe with her parents. "Where's Connor?" She asked before sipping her water. It seemed that no matter how many times she drank, her throat was always dry.
Her mother stilled. "He's at Evan's." She said softly. Zoe frowned.
"Evan Hansen? I didn't realize they were friends."
"They've grown quite close over the past couple of days." Her mother said. Her father remained stoically silent.
"I missed a lot, huh?" Zoe said. She didn't receive a reply.
She was back in her room, curled up on her bed. She scrolled through Instagram, hoping that the bright light would eventually exhaust her. Her heart dropped when a video with Connor appeared on her dash. She licked her lips before tapping it.
The video loaded for a moment before playing. Zoe watched as the person behind the camera filmed Connor, who was answering his phone. When she saw the way her brother's eyes widened, she realized who he was talking to. Connor stood, completely silent and obviously in shock.
"Connor?" Evan Hansen asked, approaching Connor. Connor's phone clattered to the ground and he collapsed. Zoe closed her eyes. Connor's sobs echoed into her ears and her stomach clenched. She wanted to throw up when shy Evan Hansen snapped at the person to stop recording before murmuring incoherent reassurances to Connor.
The video ended and Zoe swallowed. She turned her phone off and placed it on her side table. She shrugged her coat and gloves on, heading downstairs to get her shoes.
"Zoe?" Her mother asked when she came down the stairs. "Where are you going?"
Her mother couldn't quite keep the trembling fear out of her voice. "I'm going to see Connor," Zoe replied stiffly.
"Honey, he'll come home soon. You need to get some rest."
Zoe's lips upturned in a snarl. "Oh, so because I tried to kill myself I can't go out anymore? You never cared where I went before."
The words were harsh and her mother flinched. Zoe refused to feel guilty and she quickly put on her shoes. "If you're so worried, text Connor." She said before leaving the house with a slam.
It didn't take her long to get to Evan's house. She firmly knocked on the door and waited. When Evan answered, surprise flickered across his face.
"Z-Zoe." He stammered. "You're out of the hospital."
"Is my brother here?" She asked.
Evan shifted and nodded. "He's, um, he's sleeping right now."
"Can I see him?"
Evan looked unsure before stepping back. Zoe entered the house and took her shoes and gloves off.
"He's upstairs," Evan said softly. Once Zoe's shoes were tucked away, he led her through the house. Evan tapped on the door before opening it.
"Uh, Connor?" Connor didn't move and Evan went over. Zoe stayed in the doorway, watching as Evan gently shook Connor. "Zoe's here." He murmured. There was a soft snort before Connor sat up, rubbing his eyes.
"Ev?" He mumbled sleepily, practically sinking into his friend's arms. He blinked a few times before his eyes settled on Zoe. His mouth dropped open and he scrambled out of the bed, falling over when his legs got tangled in the sheets.
"Zoe." He breathed out. "You're alive."
Zoe swallowed back her own tears and nodded. "Yeah." She said hoarsely. Connor was freely crying and Evan was quick to wrap him in his arms. Zoe sniffed and ran to them, burying herself in her brother, breathing in his scent.
"I'm sorry." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry."
