Connor had been stuck to Evan for just over a week now. Being dead kinda sucked in the respect. Having to watch over an anxious kid who has one of the most boring lives ever was not exactly how Connor thought he'd be spending his afterlife.
But it didn't take long for Connor to grow attached to Evan. To even started caring about him. And when that happened, he started to notice a lot of concerning things. All the bells were ringing in his head, but Evan didn't know he was there because Connor was dead, so there wasn't much he could do. Connor had been dead for a very short time, he was still figuring out the whole ghost guardian angel thing.
It had been ten days and fifteen hours since Connor had woken up, stuck to Evan. It was September fifteenth and Evan was sitting worriedly high up in a tree. A pit was forming in Connor's transparent stomach. Evan had been very blank the entire journey up that tree and now he was staring down.
It was obvious what Evan was planning to do. Connor knew the look of a suicidal person.
He licked his lips and looked around. There was nothing that could cushion a fall from that height. If Evan fell, he would probably die.
"Goddammit," Connor muttered and started to climb.
When he reached Evan, he was startled to see that the boy was crying.
"Oh god." He mumbled, pulling himself up and next to the boy. He didn't know how the hell he was supposed to comfort Evan. Connor didn't have any experience in that field and knew for a fact that he sucked at it.
He took a deep breath and gently lay his hand over Evan's.
"Evan?" He said, trying to put as much force into his voice as possible. When Evan didn't react, Connor pursed his lips and tried again.
"Evan Hansen, you look at me right now." He said and this time Evan's eyes widened and he looked to his left.
His mouth dropped open and Connor knew he'd seen him.
"C-Connor?" He stammered. "W-what, what the fuck?"
"Hey," Connor said, smirking a bit.
"B-but you're, you're-"
"Dead? Yeah, I noticed."
"I-"
Connor sighed. "Don't think about it. But dude, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
Evan swallowed and looked down, staring at the floor so far away. "I just... I don't-"
"It's not the solution," Connor said firmly. "And I know, I'm a huge hypocrite, right? But trust me, man, death isn't all it's cracked up to be. It's not some safe haven, you don't escape. As far as I know, suicide victims stay on Earth. They stayed and get stuck to other people, who're are probably suicidal as well. Worst part? You get to see how your death affected your loved ones." Connor sighed and looked up at the sky. "Better just to let death take you when it wants to."
"Connor, I just. It hurts." Evan sniffled and wiped his eyes.
"I know. But while you might get to escape the worst of the pain, you hand it off to the people who care about you. How do you think your mother's going to react when she hears the news? What about the person who finds your crippled and bleeding body?" Connor smiled bitterly. "Zoe found me." He admitted and he heard Evan's sharp intake. "Dunno why she was home early, but she was. Walked into the bathroom and found me in the bathtub that was full of my blood. I had to hear her scream, Evan. I had to watch as she screamed for mom and tried to pull my limp body out of that bathtub, getting bloody water all over herself. I had to see my mother's face of anguish when she saw me."
Connor could feel tears trickle down his face and he made no move to stop them. "It's not worth it. It will never be worth it. So you better get your ass down from this tree, go find your mother and hug her tight."
Evan stared at him, wide-eyed and shocked.
Connor arched a brow, desperately ignoring how his eyes stung, the way his eyelashes stuck together, the wetness of his cheeks.
"What're you waiting for Hansen?" He said softly. "Go."
Evan swallowed and began the descent. Connor smiled, looked up at the sky and closed his eyes. For a split second, he was sure he felt the warmth of the sun on his face.
Connor opened his eyes and sat up with a gasp. He panted, looking around wildly. "What the fuck?" He whispered when he took in his surroundings. He was in a hospital. He wasn't dead, why wasn't he dead? He lifted his wrists, trembling when he realized they were wrapped with pure white cloth.
His eyes burned. He was supposed to die, why hadn't he died? He had made sure that no one would be in the house, that no one would find him until it was too late - what had happened?
The door to his room opened and a nurse walked in, looking startled when she saw him sitting up.
"Oh," she said, blinking. Connor blankly at her and she quickly exited. A second later, his mother ran in, tears flowing down her cheeks.
"Connor!" She cried and he was wrapped in her warm embrace. Connor stiffened. He hadn't hugged his mother in years. She cradled his head and sobbed in his hair, pressing kissing there and whispering words of comfort.
"H-hey, mom." He croaked, sniffling softly.
"My baby," she whispered. "My baby boy, thank god you're okay."
She squeezed him tight and Connor, for the first time in years, squeezed her back.
