My Sin

Chapter Seventy Six

I wish I knew - Sharon Van Etten

We arrived at a spot up the hill along the side of the road. What makes it more beautiful is the  night lights coming from the city. I looked around and my eyes landed on the man approaching me with a blanket on his hand.

"Here, warm up" He mumbles as he sat beside me on the grass and put the cloth around to cover my body.

"Thanks" I replied and he nods.

I can't find the right words to say so I just stare at the beautiful view in front of me. I hugged my shoulders and laid my chin on my knees. It's freezing cold but I don't care. This place is perfect. It lets me think about everything that's happening.

"Let's talk about it" His voice sounds a little commanding.

"Alright" I inhaled sharply before deciding whether or not to let him start first. There was a short silence before he began.

"When he said that you wanted me to stay out of your life I was furious" He let out a deep sigh, his eyes focused on the starry night sky.

"You know I will never want that. Why'd you believe him?" I asked softly, this time I moved closer to him.

"Because I thought about you. That maybe you'd think this was all just too good to be true. And that you changed your mind and hate me again" He says, looking at me.

"I felt incomplete when I got home that night. I think about you all the time Sin. It hurts to think that you never cared and never called again so I thought the same. That maybe you've changed your mind" I speak so softly. His hands lift to cup my cheek. He gives me a smile I've long to see.

"I will never, ever, change my mind over you. Didn't you remember what I said that night in the mansion? You're my life, Maya" He mumbles, leaning closer to me. His breath fanning my face.

"I missed you" I said,blushing.

"And god knows how much I've missed you too baby" He murmurs against my lips. There's just one thing I needed to ask him. I don't know how to without sounding awkward. But I have to get it out of my chest.

"How's..uhm her and the..your baby?" I gulped, biting my lower lip.I did sound awkward. I cursed at myself for that. He paused and let me go before speaking.

"He's a happy baby" He smiles but it's obvious he's trying to avoid my other question.

"You're gonna be a great father Sin" I reached to hold his hand but he pulls away.

We stared at each other. I sense worry in his eyes and instantly I felt something's off with him.

"Hey, what is it?" I asked, cupping his cheeks. His beard tingles my fingers as he rest his face on my palm, carressing them softly while his hand reach to hold mine and kiss me.

"The kid's not mine" He speaks, eyes shut, while he guides my hand to caress his cheeks.

"W-what?" I was stunned as I pull my hand from his face. He let out a sigh and turn to face the sky.

"It was that night we got back to the Mansion. I was drunk and we both got into a huge fight. She was so mad it slipped out of her tongue. She thought I was too drunk not to notice those four words, but I did. I wanted so bad to kill her but I thought about the baby inside her. I want him to live. I don't want that whore to kill him either so I pretend I didn't hear it" He explains and I was shocked. I feel nothing but pain for Sin and anger for Anastasia.

"I'm so sorry to hear that" I said, squeezing his hand.

"She didn't even touch the baby when she saw him. What's gonna happen if she found out I knew that it's not mine? I have to protect the baby from her own mother. Imagine that. I wanna make sure she feels the love that the baby deserves before I tell her. I want to see her care about him, Maya" He explains. It pains him so much to say these words. I feel sorry for Sin and the baby for having a mother like her. But what Sin said makes sense, he can't just leave the baby with her. We both know what she's capable of.

"Everything's gonna be alright. Let's just give her a chance. After all it's her baby. She will learn to love him like she's never loved a person so much" I say, remembering how it feels like to be a mother even if it's just for a while. A tear slip my eyes and Sin saw it.

"I love you, so much" He murmurs. He sensed what I was thinking. I force a smile and kissed him.

"I love how you can be so sweet with me sometimes" I mumble and he pulled me in for a kiss once more.

"Sometimes?" His lips twitch to a smile. Oh god, he looks so gorgeous even in the dark.

"Yeah, 'cause most of the time you argue with me" I taunted and he pushed me on the ground slowly. His body on top of mine.

"I'm mad because you're a naughty little girl who always defy me" He whispers in my ear and I blush.

"No I'm not" I tell him and his eyebrow arched.

I screamed when his fingers crawled to my waist to tickle me. I struggle to kick him off me  but he's just too strong.

"Stop it! Ahh!" I squealed like a child. Sin let out a laugh that I've never heard before and It makes me so happy to see him this happy.

A moment later we both lay down on the hood of his car, staring at the sky, holding hands and never letting go of each other.

"I love you baby" His head turns to look at me. His eyes adore me and I melt everytime he says how he feel about me without any hesitation.

"My big bad alpha" I mumble under my breath and his lips formed a smile before shaking his head.

"Come on, it's getting late" He reaches for my hand and helped me get up. His arms catch me before I sway and lose my balance completely.I rest my head on his chest. We stayed like that for a while.

"The baby shower is tonight. Aren't you gonna come?" I asked him. It pains me to ask him that but I should be open about this situation with him.

"I won't leave you like this" He says, tucking the loose hair behind his ears. He looked so hot doing that.

"I'm fine. You can just drop me off a motel then you can go" I say but his jaw tightened.

"It's not safe for an 18 year old girl to be staying at a motel. Alone" His teeth greeting together. I tensed for a moment.

"A-actually, I'm 19" I answered and he cocked his eyebrow. Then a smile formed his lips.

"Of course. You just had your birthday. C'mere baby. I'm sorry my greeting is a little too late" He pulls me and the way he looks at me makes my heart sink in happiness. I love him.

"I love you" I kissed his cheeks. His beard tickles me.

"So I'm now fucking a 19 year old girl. That doesn't sound so bad now, right?"  He teases and my eyes widen..The way he mentions my age makes me hot and I don't know why. I'm blushing so hard right now and he loves it even more seeing me so shy around him.

"So, what? I'm 19 and you're like what, 29? 10 years? Pfff. It's just a number" I put my hands in my waist and he laughs.

"Oh baby you sound so hot when you say that" He traces kisses on my shoulder and I try so hard not to moan.

"Uhmm" It's too late as he grabs my arm and pulls me inside the car. As soon as I'm seated, he leaned so close to me and the next words that escaped his lips had me blushing and I can't help but feel the excitement on what's about to happen next.

"Actually, I'm turning 30, baby. Does that bother you now?" He mumbles so hot in my ears. His eyes full of lust as his eyes rake my body.

"Yes..no" I whispered, biting my lips. He cursed.

"Fuck"

And I wasn't prepared on what's about to happen next.