to all the boys i've loved before ||nct dream||

.:chapter one:.

"dear god, please let this be a dream. please i'm begging you."

i lay on my bed, back side down. my breaths are heavy and i'm about to cry. my hands and feet are sweaty and numb. my mind is mentally exhausted.

years worth of feelings are brought up again.

"hey sis. sorry for invading your privacy, but i thought you could use a nudge." hyunjin stands at the door.

"i don't care about "what you thought i needed" that is none of your business. you shouldn't have even been in my room. you had no right what so ever." my tears were on the verge of spilling.

there was a long silence before hyunjin spoke again. "the one with jaemin; is that how you truly feel?" he asked.

"truly felt." i correct. "i don't feel that way anymore."

"are you sure about that?" hyunjin crossed his arms and made his way onto my bed.

"just go away. you caused enough trouble." i stuff my pillow in my face.

"what if i told you that jaemin likes you back?" hyunjin moved the pillow.

"it doesn't even matter anymore." i grabbed the pillow back and put it on my face again. but hyunjin snatched the pillow again.

"look, jaemin has always liked you. you're just too dense. i always tease him about liking you." he told me. i felt my heat skip a beat. it felt like my hands were soaked with sweat.

what if hyunjin is lying? i don't think that jaemin would like me. if he does, then what am i supposed to do about my feelings for mark? how am i supposed to face all my crushes at school tomorrow?