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hwang renjun. i remember when he first moved to our school. he was so mysterious because he was from another country. but i knew he was way out of my league because he's so smart. he's also part of the class council. everyone knows him as the smart one. and he's the first guy that i ever crushed on.

"class, please welcome our new student from china, hwang renjun." our teacher introduced.

i wasn't really paying attention. i just wanted to go home. so as i was staring out of the window, i felt a tap on my arm.

"hello." renjun smiled. he had a snaggletooth.

at first i thought that his tooth was ugly. but the more he smiled, the more i found it cute.

"do you need help with that problem?" renjun asked. we were learning our multiplication tables and he noticed that i kept erasing my answer.

"no." i declined.

"number five is also wrong, by the way." he said and went back to doing his work.

i was afraid of him. my heart would beat faster every time he would get close to me. i didn't understand why that would happen. so i told my older sister.

"jaehwa? can i ask you something?" i entered her room.

"yeah, sure. what's up?" she patted the spot next to her on the bed.

"well... there's this boy... and i'm scared of him." i told her. jaehwa frowned.

"is he bullying you? why are you scared of him?" jaehwa got worried.

"no... but every time we get close to each other, my heart starts beating faster. like it's about to burst. my hands get sweaty and all of a sudden, i can't think." i said.

"aww hyejin. that means you're in love!" jaehwa exclaims.

love? i've never felt love like that before.

"eww! no! boys have cooties!" i yell. i buried my face in a pillow.

but i knew that she was right. i was in love with hwang renjun.

"did you have any trouble on the homework?" renjun asked. i froze. i didn't know what to say.

"i was good." i blurt. renjun looked at me confused. "i mean it was good."

"oh good." he laughs. "you can ask me for help anytime."

i muttered a quick thanks.

because of his kindness, i thought he liked me too. however... it wasn't meant to be.

i saw him talking with another girl... he was confessing. the next week, everyone was teasing them. all i remember was feeling so sad that i wasn't able to tell renjun how i felt.

so i wrote a letter.

to all the boys i've loved before    ||nct dream||Where stories live. Discover now