Remembering Chloe

Chapter 19 [pt. 1]

**unedited**

Chapter 19 [pt. 1]

May 26

4:12p.m.

‘Chloe pressed the stick up to my lips and took in a big gulp of air, pushing it passed my throat and into my lungs. It sort of burned for a second but then she let it out as a smile crept to my face. Everything around us was starting to feel lighter and breezier. I could feel my body – our body – lifting from itself. It was a weird feeling but a good one.

My hands fell to our uncovered thighs where the skirt ended. Our skin was pretty cool to the touch but, a moment later, Chloe and I didn’t really notice it like I did before. Matt handed me the paper stick again and she did the same thing as before, throwing my head back as the smoke blew out of my mouth in a puff.

Her shirt rose as it uncovered the bottom of my stomach.  We hunched back down. Matt was grinning at me and throwing his arm around our shoulders as laughter rumbled in his stomach.

We sat together watching the rest of the party as it flickered and faded like fireflies. There was pumping music that shook through my core and a baseline that bumped me up and down on the ground. Matt must have noticed this too because when he looked at me, we started to laugh like maniacs.

I felt so happy; happier than Chloe had been in a long time, anyway.

Samara was in front of us, dancing with her latest boyfriend. They were attached by the hips as the pushed her body into his to dance. I think I watched them for a minute but my mind was already reeling to new subjects. Matt was leaning his head on my shoulder and his arms were on the floor. I could feel his body heat through my flimsy and fell into it happily.

I missed Matt so dearly. My brain was fuzzy but I tried to steal every drop of his essence from him before I knew I would have to leave.

Chloe tumbled backward with a huff before she and Matt – Matt and I – started to laugh again. Something that I learned about my brother was that no matter what I was doing with him, it was fun. Even now, when we were smoking things that I didn’t want to be smoking, and wearing clothes that I didn’t want to be wearing, I couldn’t help a smile from poisoning my lips with its joy.’

There was a buzzing to my left, soft at first and then it intensified until I hear my groan getting drowned out by the hum. I opened my eyes to an annoying light and then quickly closed them. Was there any worse feeling than waking up from such a wonderful dream to such a head splintering environment? For a second, I wondered if the – uh, how could I put it? – substance abuse from the dream had anything to do with my headache but that was crazy.

Again, I was left unsatisfied with my dream. Was it so terrible of me to want more than one REM cycle with my own flesh and blood? Apparently it was since every time I found my bliss, someone decided that they needed to call me or to wake me, or sometimes I would wake of my own will and find myself feeling hopeless and lonely. I wished there was some way to spend more time with Matt but I just didn’t see how that was possible.

With a heavy sigh, I found my phone in the same spot where I’d left it on my bedside table with the lights flashing on and off as it did a small jig on the table. I flipped it open and pressed it to my ear.

“Hello?” I asked, catching a hand to my mouth as I opened it to yawn.

“Babe!” Samara’s cheerful voice rang through the telephone and then dropped so quickly that I barely had time to realize, “Have you been avoiding me?”