But, I love you.

Part 52

After 8 hours thinking and overthinking I finally arrive. It's one In the morning now.
I doubt for a second to wait till the sun rises to go to her house, but I can't wait.
I don't wanna take any risk anymore. And to be honest, I've waited long enough.
The cab I reserved is waiting outside and In half an hour I'm with her. I hope she isn't mad because I show up in the middle in the night, but this is the last of my worries right now.

I want to have a plan what I'm gonna do If she's having a thing with that dude, but I also don't wanna think about them together right now.
The drive feels endless but way too short at the same time. Before I realize, I'm in front of her door.
I take a deep breath and knock on her door. 
My hands are getting sweatier every second. I smile with the thought that she's so close to me right now.

The door opens and I meet my biggest nightmare. My smile fades and our eyes meet.
Him.
I shake my head and think a second about running away, but I can't.
I can't run away when my eyes drift to the left, where the most beautiful women in the world stands.
She opens her mouth and wants to say something, but her lips are shaking.

"H-harry?" She manages to stumble. It takes a lot of force to take my eyes aways from her.
It feels like I forgot how beautiful she is in real life. She's not wearing any make up and her hair is in a messy bun. She's so natural I can't believe she was mine. Was...
My eyes drift back to his and I can't controll my anger. Anger towards him or anger towards myself?
Both. I'm freaking mad on myself for wanting her to be mine, and mine only so badly, that she ran away. And I didn't go after her. But I'm also freaking mad on this loser for being by her side all the time.

"Harry?"
The anger takes controll over me and makes my feet move to him.

"What are you doing here?" How does he dare to be here with her In the middle of the night?
I know (Y/N) can be pretty convincing but he should leave her alone.

"We were watching a movie. I was comforting her after you left her. Do you really think she would to this so soon after you?"
W-what? I can't keep my head clear right now. Did he really just say that?
I decide to ignore him and pay attention to her.

"Can we talk?" I barely manage to talk. What's happening with me?
I get so lost in those eyes, that I'm pretty sure Adam said something, but I've no Idea what.
She nods in respond. She walks over to the coach and I follow her without saying a word.
I sigh and look over to her to find her starring at me. She looks hurt, and It's all my fault.

"I should've came after you."

"Yes you should." The crack in her voice gives me shivers.

"I'm so sorry. I freaked out. I-i knew you were close to him and he's here when I'm not.  I really thought..." I shake my head. What the hell was I thinking.
"And then I saw him on skype with you... I have to hear this from you. Are you two..?"
I can't even get the words over my lips.
She shakes her head and my heart makes a small jump.

"Do you really think I would?" I shake my head. No I don't think she would, but he would.

"I've been thinking about It and I was selfish. I shouldn't be mad at you for wanting another future than I want and I should support you In the choices you make. Even when I don't agree with them."

"I don't get It Harry. Why didn't you came after me? Or just called me? I would've been happy with a simple text. But I had to read in the damn papers that we're officialy over."

"We aren't over!" Are we? My voice raised without me wanting to. But I can't let her think we are over. We can't be over. Not as long I live.

"If we were I wouldn't be here right?" I add in my normal voice. She looks away from me for the first time.

"I don't know." She whispers. She blinks to protect to tears that were about to fall.

"Hey hey, we're not giving up this fast. I'm certainly not.
Remember what I said in Disneyland?"

She nods again.

"That you had to remember us, how we feel? And we promised to never believe the papers.
That day, I told you I wanted to spend my life with you... I never meant anything more in my life.
Or remember when we just slayed the management?" We both chuckle at the thought.
"And Cara at the same time."  She adds, still smiling at the  memory.

"See! We make a great team. Together we can handle everything. When I don't see light at the end of the tunnel, you're there with a lighter. I've been a mess without you.

... I need my lighter." I rattle.

"Remember when we just burned all the papers with articles about us? Or when I talked to your tummy when you were in pain in our house." All these memories gives me the warm, strong feeling only she can gives me. I feel like I can't stop talking. I'm like a teenage girl.

"Yes yes I remember."

"I just wanna say, I enjoyed every single moment I spent with you. I never thought that the girl I heard screaming in a parc years ago, would become the one and only women I've ever been in love with."

"And I'm not planning on finding someone else because first, nobody can give me what you gives me. And second, I had to work damn hard to win your heart." I finish.
She laughs out loud now. 

"You had actually."

"It hasn't been easy, but we had a pretty good time too. I don't want that to end here and now.
Actually, I never want It to end. All the hard moments would have been so much harder, If we didn't had each other." We stare into each other eyes and stay a while like this. She says nothing and I decide to break the silence before this becomes awkward.

"I'm proud of you for wanting to go to collega again. I support your decision. We can find something to keep in touch. I, I just really don't wanna lose you. I'm sorry... "

She suprises me by standing up and walking towards me. She sits on my lap and pulls her arms around me.

"You've messed things up. I thought you would be happy for me and I was dissapointed by your reaction." I sigh. I look away from her and focus my eyes on the ground. I don't wanna cry In front of her. Maybe I should leave..

"But, I love you. I love you more than anything in this whole world. While you weren't here you kept sneeking in my head." She shakes her head.
"I've missed you." I can't describe the happiness I'm feeling. I can't find the correct words to explain everything inside of me now.

"I've missed you too." 

She leans closer and our lips meet. I missed her. Damn I missed her. My arms travel to her waist while her tongue enters my mouth. Our breath starts to get heavier and we lay down on the coach.
I'll never leave her side again. Even If we're apart, I'll be here in some way.

I'm forever keeping my lighter close..