But, I love you.

Part 17

The Brit Awards are tonight! They're coming closer and I'm getting more and more excited! 

Flashback - Last week.

We're lying on bed, in our hotel in Sweden. The boys just arrived from the show. I was really tired and didn't go to the show. It was pretty late when the boys arrived so I was already sleeping.

"Babeee." Harry whispers. I feel him sitting on the bed.

"Mmmhhh." I say sleeply.

"I'm home."

"I noticed." I groan.

I hear him chuckle. "Can I have a goodnight kiss?" He asks me.

"Kiss my cheek. I'm too tired." I say almost back asleep.

He kisses my cheek. I can't help but smile.

"The brit awards are coming closer." He says. My eyes shut open. I try to act calm as possible.

"Yeah they are."

"Would you like to join me?"  You turn around to face Harry, who is smiling at you.

"I would love to." I smile to him. In my head I'm happy dancing and screaming. 

I kiss him and lay on his chest.

"But the management?" I say worried.

"I'll take care of that. C'mon go back to sleep hunny."

"Okay."

"I love you." He says.

"I love you too."

End of flashback.

I'm in our hotelroom in Venice. The boys already left early in the morning for the soundcheck. They're going to perform at the brit awards.

I got up and go to the bathroom. I take a quick shower and put a short and a blouse on. I had a date with Lou to have breakfast together, and go shopping afterwards. Today is the day, I'm gonna buy my dress. I want my dress to be glamorous. I want people to think WAW. I think I'm afraid of the hate. I want them to give less reasons to hate as possible. I did some make up on when I hear a knock on the door. I open the door.

"Hey Lou!"

"Heeeey!" She says walking in and giving me a hug. "Ready?"

"Yep!" I say enthousiast.

We go to starbucks and order our breakfast. Lou is telling a story about Lux. 

"She's the cutest." I say when Lou shows me a picture. She laughs with my comment. She must miss Lux. I'm eating my breakfast a bit faster than usual. I'm so excited and can't wait to shop. Lou promised me to do my make up and hair tonight. We go to the shoppingstreet. We did a few shops when I finally found a show with great dresses.

Now I'm wearing a white dress. It's beautiful but not perfect. I'm standing before a mirror when I see Lou in the reflection. She has the prettiest dress in her hands. It's a bustier, pink dress. It's beautiful. I'm staring at the dress with a smile. Lou must have noticed. 

"I knew you would like it." She says.

"Come to mommyyyy." I say.

Lou gives me the dress.

After a couple minutes I come out of the changing room.

Lou opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again. I see a tear streaming down her face.

"You're so beautiful." She says wiping away the tear.

"Really?" I say turning to the mirror. "Waw." I  whisper. I never thought about myself I was beautiful. When I look in the mirror I can tell 10 things I don't like. But in this dress.. I feel like a princess. I look at Lou and more tears are streaming on her cheeks now. 

"Oh Lou!" I say turning to her and hug her.

"I'm sorry. I'm just proud of you. Look at you! Harry will love it. I'm happy he found the right girl, love." 

Tears are filling my eyes now. I'm so weak, when I see someone cry I have to cry myself.

We realise we're like two hugging, crying idiots and start to laugh.

"Oh I'm gonna cry rivers when you two marry." Lou says.

I smile to her. "You're the best!" I say.

I can't wait to show to Harry.  I feel so happy.  We buy the dress. When we're outside we realise it's around 4pm. We've been 2hours in the shop. The boys are going back to the hotel soon, so we decide to go back. The whole trip back I walked with the biggest smile in the world.

We arrive at the hotel. I walk in the lobby when I spot a curly haired boy.

He's just standing there in the middle of the lobby.

"Harry!" I scream. He turns around.  I run to him and jump on him. "You make me the happiest girl in the world."

I kiss him. I notice he doesn't say a lot, but he kisses back.

He puts me back on the ground and gives me a weak smile.  I was about to ask what was going on but I'm interrupted.

"Finally found you!" A girl says.

I turn around to see Cara Delevingne walking up to us. I give her a smile. My self-confidence is gone now. She's extremly skinny and pretty. She has spiderlegs and a flat belly. She's flawless.

I feel like a fat gnome beside her. She ignores me and gives Harry a kiss on the cheek.

"Hey babe." Harry smiles to her. I look confused to the both of them.

Harry looks at me. I see guilt in his eyes. "Think about tonight, think about tonight." I say in my minds.

"Ehm (Y/N), management doesn't want us to come out yet."

"Oh, oh fine babe. I can come as your best friend." I say. Okay it's sad we can't show our love tonight but I still going to share this incredible night with my boyfriend. 

"Ehm yeah, but they called Cara to be my date tonight." How one sentence can break your heart. It feels like my heart goes in my stomach. I feel tears burning in my eyes but I refuse to let them come out. For a moment I thought I was about to faint. It's like they just slammed me in the face. 

She turns to me with a smile. 

I'm back to reality. I try to act cool and not showing the pain I feel in my chest.

"Oh, sure. Fine." I say with a smile.

"You don't mind?" Harry says with a smile. How can he think I don't mind!

"Sure, I mean, they're gonna be other evenements later right." I give them a fake smile, but it seems like they didn't noticed.

My tears are screaming to come out.

"We're having dinner now, wanna join us?" Cara asks me. I can't handle a whole night with them. Seeing my boyfriend with a gorgeous model talking and ignoring me. 

"Eh no, I have to make calls. And I'm not really hungry." My stomach almost makes noises because I'm that hungry.

"Okay. Have you been shopping babe? What did you buy?"  Harry asks.

"Nothing special. I gotta go now. Have fun tonight." I turn around and walk to the elevator. I had to go, I couldn't stop my tears. The moment the elevator closes I burst out in tears. I feel terrible. I was waiting for this night for weeks. I bought the most beautiful dress. I walk to our room and throw my bag with my dress somewhere and fall on my bed. On that moment I realise the worst thing of this all.

Harry didn't come after me.