But, I love you.

Part 28

The next morning I wake up by the sun shining on my face. I turn around to see an empty bed. I sigh.

There's a note on Harry's pillow.

"Early soundcheck today. I'll text you when I'll be back."  I groan.

Fine. I feel lazy and don't want to come out of bed. Everything yesterday happend is still on my mind.

The screaming girls, the insults, Hannah. There were thousand girls. 999 were hating on me and one said she loves me. Do I belong here? How long can I handle this? Maybe.. Sigh. I love Harry with all my heart, but his life is so hectic. In Disneyland we felt like a normal, teenage couple. That's the relationship I want. But I can't let Harry fall for his job. He's loving it and I accept it, but I can't let myself down. I log in into twitter and start reading my mentions.

"@(Y/T/N) That was so sweet of you! Harry is blessed with a girl like you."

"Cunt."

"I hope modest fires you soon."

"You two are really cute together."

"Cough beard cough"

I sigh. I'm the kind of girl if thousand people say "You're beautiful" and 5 say "You're ugly", I'm gonna believe those 5 persons. A single tear falls down my cheek. Why do people hate me? I've done nothing wrong. I'm just in love with the boys who makes my life complete. Is that not allowed? Should I take a step away? Maybe I should go for a walk. I shouldn't stay alone, inside with those thoughts. I get up and put on some shorts and a tshirt. I decide to walk to the arena. The whole way I feel paranoid. It feels like everone is starring. It feels like every boy who walks by, is Tom. After the threats he's been sending me I became really afraid of meeting him again. Especially now, we're in America. It felt like we were really in love, I don't get how I didn't see everything was fake. Anyway I'm at the arena. I show my pass and can walk in without any problems. I'm close to the dressingrooms when I hear screamings and yellings. I walk closer to hear what they're saying. The door is a bit open and I look inside. I see Harry and an old man.

"I'm in love with her!" Harry yells.

"The fans doesn't like her! They want  you to be single."

"I don't care what they think! If they see we really love each other they gonna accept it!"

"They won't. You're their favorite without you there's no One Direction."

"We're with 5! I'm not more important than them, and they can have a girlfriend so I don't see the problem."

"Listen, if you break up, we gonna give you more solos okay? We just can't accept you two being together, the fans doesn't accept it."

"I don't want your damn solos. I want to be with (Y/N)."

"Waw I thought you were curvy but you're FAT."

"Or Harry became blind or he wasn't wearing his glasses and (Y/N) is a stalker and now he's stuck with her."

"You tried modest, you tried."

"And the award to ugliest girlfriend goes to (Y/N)."

"She's a beard. So obviously. Like Harry would love someone like her. Hahaha." 

I feel my heart sink into my stomach. I feel humiliated, embarrassed.  My tears are filling my eyes. They're burning. The whole world hates me. 

"Do you want me to read more?" Harry's expression is hurt. He sighs. 

"No."

I turn around and walk back to the exit. My tears are screaming to come out and I let them go. I start running without turning around. I hear my name. People are screaming my name but I run. I refuse to stop my legs. I have to escape from here. The screams seems to fade away. I keep running till I find a parc. It reminds me of Harry's and mine in London. I'm sitting before a tree. Trying to look invisible. I just wanna be alone and think about everything.

My phone starts buzzing like crazy. All the boys are texting me. I put my phone off and throw it in my bag. I lay my head against the tree. Maybe I should leave. It should solve all the problems. 

I'm sobbing. The sun is going down and its getting dark. I have no idea where to go. I just keep sitting here. Softly, I fall alsleep against my tree...