Philophobia

8. Zelophobia

Zelophobia - Fear of Being Jealous

*Norah Cohen*

  Something feels... odd about being with Sean. I am really happy that I am with him but I still feel empty inside. All these years I have been reading romance novels to complete my lack of romance, now I experience some for myself, it's not as great as people say it is. But I have been meeting up Sean every weekend since Owen's party which has really kept me amused. I always have a good time.

  But in my last date with him, I had gone to his house afterwards where we just sat and talked and laughed like always. Then it was time for me to go, so we stood in the doorway of his house and I was just about to leave, so I kissed him. When we parted, we just gazed into each others eyes for a second. Then we just kissed again, only it was so much more passionate.

  We parted again, though I didn't want to. Sean then leaned in close, so his cheek brushed against mine and he whispered into my ear. "I love you." Hearing this made me instantly smile but I didn't say anything. Instead, I left it hanging and walked home.

  At first, I was happy about him saying this, but my smile gradually faded as I approached my home. Did I actually feel that way about him in return? Maybe I did, but what made me feel so odd about how I felt was the way I acted in front of Sean. The way I behaved was not exactly myself.

  Sean saw a confident girly girl who cared very much about how she looked, but in reality, I was a shy nerdy girl who would rather be lost in a book than go to a party. Sean said he loved me, but that was not the real me, that was the fake me.

  I was wondering if I should tell Sean how I really am. Maybe he will understand; he said he loves me and love is a powerful thing. He couldn't leave me just for something as little as a change in image.

  I turned the corner at the end of Sean's street and carried on walking to my house, but then I noticed someone on the road opposite. What they were doing made my teeth grit, but I was not the kind to create a scene, so I shuffled past, in hope I was not noticed.

*Kim Franklin*

  'To Ash,

  I don't know why but I can't move on from Jonah, you could even say my obsession with him is getting worse. Last night, I had a dream about him... Only he certainly was not as cruel as the way he is in real life. It was nicer in the dream.

  But another thing, whenever I see some girls even talk to him, even though I am friendly with them, I just want to scratch them in the face, right across the cheek. I'm not jealous though... but Norah says I am just being zelophobic. I am jealous but I am in denial so I am apparently fearing jealousy.

  Even if I do get my chance to talk to him, I find myself lost for words. I just freak out and I have no idea  what to say. Then my face goes all... flushed. I suddenly feel all hot and sweaty. It's never happened before. This is probably the biggest crush I have ever had, and my first time facing rejection.

  I guess I now know how Louis feels... Liking someone loads after they flirt with you for a laugh, then facing the rejection as well as watching them talk to loads of other people in the opposite gender to them... Looks like a I got a taste of my own medicine... Thinking about this has made me feel really bad now... Damn, Louis must have hurt hard.

  You know, this may not be any use to me, but I will confront Jonah on how I feel. I know no good will come out of it and it would probably result in making things worse, but I feel like I need to just get it out there. Out in the open for him.

  Love Kim x'

*Flo Cassidy*

  'My sister, Janet, is still on the road of recovery from her traumatic state. Mum and Dad came back to the south east of England as soon as they found out about her. They were so worried, Dad was angry while Mum stood crying and saying it was all her fault for not standing by her.