Smoke & Roses For M (Book 3)

25: Blue Eyes

"Do you remember that night, when you got too fucked up to even function, back when I first started working for you? I had gotten you in the car and I asked where you wanted to go." I shake my head. "And you said..."

"Marilyn... I wanna go wherever you're going." He finishes, without looking away from the stars.

I sigh out softly, in content, as I look at him. I wanted to take in this moment. I wasn't sure why, but there was something about the air that I could just stay forever. I looked at him. From his messy hair, to his tattoos, to his long legs and big feet. Looking back up, and just knowing what his smile looks like.

"I think I found my home." I whisper softly.

"What is home?" He sighs, then looks at me.

"To me..." I look him in the eyes. "It's a pair of big baby blue eyes."

I couldn't feel the fear of him loving me, at this moment. In this moment, it was just him and I. It felt like the rest of the world melted away. For now, he was my world. He was my entire fucking universe, and I wanted to get lost. I didn't know if I wanted to come back, and that's what scared me.

Him loving me didn't scare me. Him caring didn't scare me. He didn't scare me. I scared myself. I was more afraid to open myself completely to him, than I ever was of his feelings. He made me feel this way, but I didn't do anything to stop him. I was afraid of what I would do, but if I could be loved by him, then maybe I could let myself be loved.

I leaned over and cupped his face, kissing him softly with passion. His lips moving with mine, felt like a warm summer breeze on a cool day. Placing his hands on my hips softly, I felt it. I let myself feel it for the first time.

The first time I have ever felt at home. If this is what Tasha has been feeling with Mars, even through all the fear, then I knew she wasn't lying. All that fear is worth this feeling.

"What was that for?" He whispered softly, as I parted our lips.

"It's okay to love me." I say softly. "Only you."

He looked at me for a moment and then leaned in and kissed me deeply. It took my breath away. In that kiss, I realized I wanted the future. The future with marriage with him, having his kids, raising them with him, living with him, loving him.

We slept at my house that night. Mars and Tasha left with the kids. Kells had to leave back to the mansion, early that morning. I was home alone and so I took a shower and got ready for the day, before heading out to the mansion.

"Honey, I'm home." I smile, walking into the mansion.

I didn't hear a response so I went and sat at the bar, in the kitchen. I was on my phone, when Rook walked in.

"I like the braids, M." He commented, on my hair.

"Thanks." I smile. "Hey, How's Izzie?"

"Oh, she's great. She's on her period, right now, and wants absolutely nothing to do to me, but she'll want me by tomorrow." He informs, eating an apple.

"Rookie." I watched him.

"Hm?" He looks at me.