is this a dream? (fifth harmony)

twenty six | make or break me

VICTORIA'S POV:

I can't believe Lauren! What the hell is her problem?! Does she think I'm not old enough for Dinah? Not good enough maybe?! I honestly have no clue, but, it's getting on my nerves.

So now, I sit here, alone, in my bunk as Lauren talks to Dinah. I heard the girls getting kicked out earlier.

I promised Dinah that I wouldn't cut again since that night.

I broke my promise.

I got up and walked into the bathroom, the girls, none the wiser didn't notice anything. I closed the door, locking it afterwards.

I pushed the toilet seat down and stood on it. Going through the top shelves that held the toilet paper I pushed them all to the side revealing a small part of the left bottom corner.

There laid a plastic zip lock bag holding three blades and a small packet of wipes just in case. I grabbed the zip lock bag and jumped off the toilet seat as quietly as possible.

I rolled up the sleeve on my left arm and turned it around so that I was facing the back of my hand.

I grabbed the blade, circling it in between my fingers, questioning if I were really going to do this after the promise I made to Dinah.

As I looked at the blade, all that rushed to me where bad memories and how I am not good enough for anyone, not even myself.

I did it before thinking. I sliced five times against my wrist, the scars popping out more then the others starting to fade away.

Pulling down my sleeve I turned to the next arm. Placing the blade in my left hand and doing another five slices on my right wrist.

Content with what I had done to myself, I pulled my right sleeve down and stood back on the toilet seat and shoved the plastic bag back in the left corner of the shelf. Pushing all the toilet paper back into its position.

I got back to the floor and opened the faucet, so it acted as if I were washing my hands after using the bathroom. For a little extra touch I flushed the toilet and got ready to lie to the girls questions that I knew would be coming soon.

I took a deep breath then opened the door leading out into the hallway. I looked to my right to see that Camila, Normani and Ally where sitting watching The Little Mermaid in the front lounge sharing a big packet of Cheeseballs.

I then looked to my left to see that the door leading to the back lounge was still closed, meaning that Lauren and Dinah where still in there.

I did a small happy dance and tip toed back into my bunk, closing the curtain as softly as possible. I turned to the side so was facing the wall.

I pulled one of my blankets over me completely so my whole body was covered.

As I lay there in my bunk, I think about my parents. I wish I knew how they died, all I remember was being dropped off at home by Ava and her Mum.

(Flashback to five years ago)

"And you're home!" I hear Diane, Ava's mum say to me.

I look to my left as I see Ava getting upset due to the fact that I have to leave.

Ava and I have been friends since grade 1. We where six. I was sitting alone, and she was the only person that came and sat with me. Long story short we became best friends and are now in a group of 4 best friends. But Ava and I are closer!

"It's ok Ava, I'll see you at school on Monday!" I said in a cheerful voice.

"I'll miss you V." Ava said the sadness coming through her voice.

Ava unbuckled her seatbelt so she could reach over and give me a hug.

"Ok, time to go sweetie." Diane said to me.

"Thank you Mrs. James." I said in my cute voice.

"Anytime! Remember to get your mum to call me!"

"I'll remember to tell her Mrs. James, thank you again, bye!" I said as I hopped out of the car. Running to the side gate of my house and squeezing my hand through the small gap to unlock the gate.

I opened the gate and tuned to my left and walked into the backyard. I went to the screen door that leads into the house.

I bent down to the plant pot next to me and lifted it up revealing the spare key.

I unlocked the door and placed the key back into its safe spot.

I walked into the house and felt chills down the back of my spine. I brushed it off and kept moving.

"Ma!, Papa! I'm home!" I said happily as I walked into the kitchen.

"Ma?, Papa? Where are you?" I begin walking to the lounge room as I heard the Italian Soccer League playing on the television.

"Papa? Are you in there?" I turned the corner and then ran straight back to he home phone and called the police.

How could this happen?

(Flashback over)

I jolted awake and opened my eyes.

"Holy Fuck." I whispered to myself as I held my hand over my heart.

"It's was just a bad memory." I said, reassuring myself.

"Nothing more, nothing less." I repeated to myself.

But little did I know, those memories could eventually make or break me.