Completed on 24/09/2018
Tell me who hurt you?" It was a command. I could have been afraid and probably told the whole of my traumatic childhood but I shook my head. There was no way I was telling him my darkest secrets.
"I will find out..I always...
I love you - I am at rest with you - I have come home.
~Dorothy l sayers~
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Sophie
*Unedited*
"Please stay the night with me" I heard him say, his lips warm on my neck, sending delicious shivers down my spine. I touched his cheek, trying to stop him from making love to me, but he was like a hungry lion devouring a small prey or a thirsty man who've just been handed a glass of water after walking through a desert.
"I can't stay tonight. I promised my grandmother I would stay with her until 1st of next year."
I heard him groan loudly in frustration, his hands grazing my thighs.
"Then give me an hour?"
"You didn't agree or confirm my condition on being faithful and now you want me to make love with you?"
"I thought it was obvious that I agreed," he asked, though it wasn't really a question.
I sat up slowly, my hands on my lap looking at him suspiciously.
"You and I have a tradition" he rose a little on his right elbow then, heavy-lidded eyes regarding me with uncertainty.
"Which tradition?" I could feel his uneasiness building in his body, his eyes lost the humour and spark that had been there a few seconds ago. I felt like I just dragged a rug from underneath him and left him standing without shoes on a cold floor.
"I need you to verbalize it, that's our traditional" he exhaled slowly.
"You still don't trust me" I looked at his eyes for a moment before dropping my eyes to my hands which still lay uncomfortably on my lap.
"It has nothing to do with trust but everything to do with our tradition" I defended. I could still feel his gaze on me. I had hurt his feelings and I could feel it.
"You don't really have to say it" I finally said.
He was right, I still didn't trust him but I couldn't tell him that. The problem with Raphael was that he was used to getting what he wanted and my not aligning with his wants at this time was driving him insane and angry.
I started to get off the bed but he stopped me. Pulling me by the waist, my thighs between his arm, laying his head on my lap, his breathing unsteady.
Sometimes I think I was the only one who got to see Raphael like this-uncertain-resentful of those few times he had to show his vulnerability, especially to me.
I slipped my hands in his hair, combing it through my fingers. His breathing hitched and his arms tightened around me.
"You may not believe this, but I haven't slept with any other woman since the day I saw you in your office the day we met," he spoke like he was in a hole but I heard him. It made me feel special, insanely in love with him but a little confused.
