Bred In Violence (A Mafia Romance Book One) #𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝟏

Chapter 35

Happy new year!!! I hope we are all in the same year by now. May we all have a great year filled with joy.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Missing you is like walking around without my heart. I feel this way because my heart is still with you.

~www.luvze.com~

Sophie

*Unedited*

I dragged my two heavy suitcases downstairs, one had shoes, and the other contained every piece of clothing I had carried into Raphael's house a few months ago. It brought memories of that day, but I forced my mind from revisiting another lovely memory that I knew would bring me uncontrollable tears. It was time to let go. 

Romano stood at the end of the staircase; he had changed to another suite, a dark blue one this time and a red tie. I have never seen either of them in a tie, and though I still felt like crying, I smiled.

"You look like a politician," I said, smiling up to his face. "Are you coveting any public office?" He chuckled, his face full of humor. It almost puzzled me how little Romano smiled or laughed, or either of them really. 

"I can never make it to any public office Soph, my sins are too visible" It was a telling reply; it alluded to what he was, and it also implied the politicians are as sinful as he was, except their sins were hidden, and more often than not, their sins stayed well hidden. It made me think of every scandal I ever heard, read, or rumored about any politician, and as insane as it was to compare the two, he was right. 

He took both of my cases, pulling them as effortless as if they were empty. It was drizzling outside; nonna stood with her back leaning on the wall, a solitary figure looking sad and uncertain. 

I had forgotten she was in the house in my pain, but I had remembered Gabs was not.  She had sent me a text message telling me she didn't feel comfortable staying in Raphael's house in my absence. Though I had understood it at the time, I had not wanted her to leave; I wanted her to stay with me. But nobody would have foreseen this ending, least of all me, but now I was glad she wasn't here. I needed time.

Time for reflection, which was what I was planning to do on the flight to granny's. I didn't have a ticket with me; this was an emergency which meant I had to buy a last-minute ticket that I knew would cost me an arm and a leg. 

"Nonna," I whispered; she looked fatigued, dark circles under her eyes, a clear indication she hadn't slept. 

I moved closer to her, I wanted to hug her, comfort her if I could, but she cupped my face between her hands before I could, gazing at my face sorrowfully. I had become quite close to her, this tall, good-natured, motherly woman who loved Raphael yet had no idea how to get close to him. 

I had watched them together. Their communication was always painfully official, like an employee with an employer. We stood like that for a few minutes without saying a word, both of us on the verge of tears. 

"Don't leave him," she finally said, her voice so gentle I was surprised I heard it. I held her hands with both of mine, which were now gripping my face—not painfully, but with a force that was telling. It felt like she was trying to induce me to stay with the sheer will of her strength. 

"He needs you,"  she said. I was sure of a few things about my relationship with Raphael, but none of which was he needed me. Raphael was self-sufficient, a confident male who understood the dynamics of the world he inhibited by making his own rules. He didn't need anyone, least of all me. 

I shook my head, opened my mouth to say he didn't need me, but I was afraid I was going to break down or loudly choke back a sob. We stared at each other, tears glistening our eyes, one crying for a grandson who had to build an indestructible wall around himself and yearned for a relationship with him, and then there was me, crying over a man I had just found out was in the mafia.