Chapter 17

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You don't earn loyalty in a day. You earn loyalty day by day. Jeffrey Gitomer

                            Raphael.

As we walked outside the club, I saw one of my guys outside leaning on one of my cars, his legs closing on the ankles, smoking a cigarette.

'Damn! Aren't I glad to see you? As much as I want to walk, I can do with a drive," I said as I sat on the right side while Romano sat on my left.

"Let me guess, Bruno sent you? He didn't think we could walk?"

"No boss, Romano texted me."

"Oh, he did, didn't he?" I said as I turned to look at Romano. His face looked worn. I realized something was troubling him, something he wouldn't be comfortable talking about or discussing.

I know Romano pretty well to know whatever was bothering him will be bottled up inside him until Bruno or I found a way to get it out of him.

Stubborn bastard.

"What can I say? I'm tired of walking. And it's not safe for you to walk unprotected."

I rested my head on the seat and closed my eyes.

"Is everybody settled?" I asked. Giving the appearance of someone who wasn't concerned either way. But it was just a facade; I wanted to know how Sophie was doing. Had she lost the forlorn look? But I didn't ask; I didn't want to give out too much.

"Yes, everybody is settled. Nonna is cheerful as always. It's infectious.

"I bet she is. I thought she would; that's why I wanted her to be there."

"You're a calculating bastard," Romano smiled, a genuine smile.

"How does that make me calculating?"

"You know damn well; not many people can resist her charm. And those two women are probably hanging on her every word as we speak, and don't forget she cooks like an angel," Romano murmured as he turned his face to the window, a sure sign that he was lost in his thoughts. I let him be; I wasn't in the mood for a chit-chat either.

As the car traversed across to our new home, I thought a lot about our lives. My family and families. Those I cared about, and those I had responsibility for.

What will I do with Sophie? I can never love her, whatever love was, or give her the life she deserves. She was meant to be somebody's wife and mother, and let's face it; I was nobody's idea of a husband. But I couldn't imagine seeing her with another man.

She was mine, damn it!

Sophie.

"Call me nonna." the woman said. She was tall, a bit chubby, her hair was white, and her eyes twinkled wickedly, making her look younger and prettier.

Bruno leaned in to kiss both her cheeks, smiling down at her, his face gentle. He looked almost loving, which contradicted what I had seen in the few hours I had spent in his company.

I didn't know much, but I knew these men were dangerous, yet I was attracted to one of them. I wondered where he was, what he was doing. Was he thinking about me every second like I was?

"Nonna, I didn't know you were here," Bruno said, holding both her arms. They smiled at each other, with nonna touching his cheek in a motherly manner.

"Raphael called me; he said you boys needed me around here." She said as she moved, her eyes staring at us until we become uncomfortable.

Bruno then whirled around to introduce us. She didn't ask who we were; she just pulled us in an embrace, chuckling and patting our backs like we were lifelong friends, which was strange to me.

"Come with me, girls, we have a lot to do" she tugged us to the kitchen. I remembered how I felt the first time I entered this kitchen, imagining how it would feel about cooking in here.

Cooking is cathartic for me, I do it when I'm stressed, and I wished I could be allowed to do so right now.

But nonna did the cooking while she talked. She talked nonstop. I didn't even have the time to think about Raphael or our situation. She regaled us with stories about Raphael, Romano, and Bruno. It was a revelation of how much she loved them.

I realized if this woman could love them so much, they couldn't be so bad. I decided to give him a chance until he proved me wrong.

Bruno walked in, wearing another impeccable suit; his hair was still damp, which means he had just taken a bath.

"Nonna, are you are boring these two beautiful women with embarrassing stories of us? " he asked, taking out a glass from one of the kitchen cabinets and filling it up with water.

Nonna looked up at him, her wrinkled face wreathed in amusement. "Not the embarrassing ones, of course."

"Somehow, I doubt that"

Suddenly we heard footsteps, and we all turned our heads, watching as Raphael and Romano walked to the kitchen.

Romano was the first to greet nonna. I noticed she did exactly the same thing she did with Bruno but not with Raphael. She didn't touch his cheek; neither did he show any overmuch enthusiasm with her. Theirs was almost official.

"Nonna," he said

"Raphael," she answered as she gazed at him. I could see the affection and the love in her eyes. The reluctant discipline that held her from embracing and holding him, making me recognize the similarities. She must be his grandmother.

They talked a bit; then I heard him tell her thank you for coming over to help them. I didn't understand to help with what, but I felt the gratitude in his voice. Suddenly, she switched to Italian; she was so fast that I wouldn't have understood whatever she was saying even if I knew the language.

Gabriella looked at me, confused. I imagined I looked as confused too.

Sitting on one of the dining chairs, Romano coughed, looking at us, causing everyone's attention to us. I hated to be the center of attention, so I stared at my entwined hands, avoiding their eyes.

Gabriella, God bless her, said we felt tired and would appreciate lying down for a while.

I could feel Raphael's eyes on me.

"I think it's a good idea. Flora can show you to your room."

Who was Flora? I wondered. I didn't have to wonder for long as a short, plump woman walked in, her hands full of shopping bags. She deposited them on the dining table where Romano was seated, slapping his hands away as he reached for one.

"Stop that!" she commanded. Romano gave her a glare, which didn't seem to faze her.

"Flora," I heard Raphael say. "This is Gabriella and Sophie," he pointed to each of us.

"Please show Gabriella to her room; I need to speak to Sophie" He tugged at my hands, walking with me to a bedroom that could only be his. The beddings were the same as the other bedroom; black. I wondered how anyone could find sleep on such morose bedspreads.

"How are you feeling?"

I wanted to lie and say horrible and scared. But I didn't; I knew it would hurt his feelings, especially if I said scared, so I settled with uncomfortable, and of course, he pushed me to know how and why I felt that way.

"I'm a woman!" I said. Like that should be self-explanatory.

He looked at me, his eyebrows raised, waiting for me to explain.

This was going to be embarrassing.

"I need girly..stuff," I finally said. My eyes were looking everywhere, at everything but him.

"What girly stuff?" my eyes immediately moved to him, thinking he was messing with me, but his face wore this confused looked I wanted to laugh at, but I did not.

"pantiespadsmakeupsandstuff"

"Oh!" was all he said, smiling at me.

"You got all that?" my face fascinated, smiling at him, forgetting for a moment how my life was getting out of my grasp.

"Turns out I can speak girly," he murmured, looking amused and smiling down at me.

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