12-d a r k b e t t y

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🦄Betty's Point Of View ~

When Jughead asked me my deepest darkest secret I brushed him off with a laugh and told him I've got nothing to hide when in fact I do, quite a lot to hide.

Cheryl doesn't know and she's been my best friend since we were thirteen years old. That's 8 years and she's never knew.

I don't know why but sometimes I have my moments. A little voice in the back of my head that's always there will creep into my thoughts, destroy any sense I have left in a low time.

I was raised to be the perfect girl, never do anything wrong, keep my grades up my chin high, a smile permanently plastered onto my face.

Dark Betty however is the side of me that used to help me keep up that facade. She would call me fat and I'd be focused on maintaining my perfect body weight. She would call me dumb and I would study harder than ever before. She would call me weak and I'd do anything to prover wrong. But giving into her for the first time was my worst mistake.

It was a pattern after that. As a teenager she would tell me to sneak out it will be fine no one will catch me. So I did. We got caught every time.

She made me impulsive and obsessive and when she resurfaced she would make me go crazy. I would do crazy things like out on a black wig and awful lingerie and get things I wanted out of people and leave them. Once I even stripped in a bar full of old men. Memories that I can't help but think of late at night when I can't sleep.

I believe in this world there is only a handful of evil people. And when I was born there was a little hint of evil inherited through me. Whether it was from my family, my heritage, my mental health I was an evil person.

Impulsive.
Possessive.
Obsessive.

Jughead was honest and innocent and he doesn't deserve this, he deserves more than me. And then I brush the thought out of my head because I know it's her pushing me down again.

Now I've let her in a don't know how I'm going to kick her out again. I took a large gulp of my drink and tried to join in with the conversation.

"What time are you guys leaving in the morning" Cheryl asked pointing between me and jughead.

"Whenever we're ready I suppose" I sigh.

"Well it's only 4:30 and I'm rather tipsy so I feel like it going to be a short one tonight" Toni laughed.

"I'll take you home tee tee don't worry" Cheryl giggled taking a sip of her rather large cup of cheap wine from the minute mart down the road.

"I'm pretty tired anyway though so I'll be having an early one too" Veronica chipped in.

"I only live next door so I'll leave when all you's do" Archie replied.

"Why are you talking about leaving the night has only just began" Jughead laughed.

"Yeah let's just see where the night takes us" Cheryl smiled clinking her glass in cheers with Veronica.

"I'll drink to that" Toni said clinking my glass and I gave her a huge smile that I knew was fake.

I felt Jugheads arm wrap around me and I leaned my head into his shoulder. He slightly turned his head to whisper into my ear.

"You okay baby"

"I'm fine I'm just a little tired" I whispered back giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Liar, she whispered. I squeezed my eyes shut and focused on twirling Jugheads hair between my fingers. Before I knew it there were tears staining my face and I got up to leave quickly, rushing out of the guest house and up into my room.

"Betty" I heard Jughead behind me.

I turned around to see him walking into my bedroom and closing the door.

I ignored him because I couldn't find the right words to explain what was going on with me and continued to place my hair up in a bun and undress my self, showering used to help me get rid of her a lot.

"Betty what's wrong" I heard Jugheads voice shout over the hot water cascading me. I didn't say anything until I heard the door close. I thought he was gone so I just let it all out the ground shaking sobs that vibrates through my whole body, my ribs aches and through the water and the tears I could see or hear anything. I only felt the hot water on my skin and my heart beat in my ears and her voice started to fade.

The shower curtain flew open and jughead stood there his eyes full of worry. He leaned over the bath to put his hands on my shoulders and gently shake me back to reality.

"Betty, baby what's wrong, please tell me what's wrong" he choked out but every time I opened my mouth to speak the words molded into a new sob or a wail or just another tear rolling down my cheek.

"Calm down look I'm here" he said stroking the wet hair out of my face and pulling me up so I was wrapped around him on the bathroom floor. He got a towel and put it around me so if any one walked in nobody would see me bare.

He rocked me back and forth and shushed into my ear until I calmed down.

"There is something very wrong with me Jughead, and I'm scared" I finally said.

"Of what?" He was still whispering.

"Everything" I choked.

"I've got you" he replied rubbing my shoulder his eyes now softening from worry to sadness.

"Earlier when you asked me my deepest darkest secret" I choked.

"You don't have to tell me" he interrupted.

"I have to do this" I added.

"Okay then, so go" he replied stroking my cheek and looking straight into my eyes not even one but phased by the fact that I'm completely naked on his lap.

"I have this darkness in me, that I can't explain and it makes me do fucked up things that I'm ashamed off" I started.

"She's the part of me that I never want you to see, and when you brought up secrets I realised she is my only secret and awful memories started to flood back." I cried.

"My deepest darkest secret is that I tried to kill myself" I winced trying to keep it all in and I watched his facial features change from concern to fully blown devastation.

"She used to tell me I'm fat and I'm ugly and one day suggested taking aload of tablets, so I took an overdose and woke up four days later in a hospital bed. I wish I didn't wake up Jug, I just don't know if I can take it and you shouldn't have to deal with me I'm not good enough for you" I sobbed.

"Stop it Betty that's her talking now! Your strong above everything else. You can fight her I know you can and if you ever want to do that to yourself again you come and find me, even if it's ten years down the line and your married to some rich lawyer and I married the trailer parks finest you come to me no matter what okay?!" He was grasping the sides of my face and kissing me lightly.

He lay there with me for a while and I nodded my head as he whispered how I can beat her, how we are going to get the help we need in my ear.

"My real names Forsythe" he whispered finally after about an hour of sitting on the floor.

I looked up at him exhausted from the events of the past hour or so and I kissed him on the lips.

"Thankyou for trusting me with that information" I smiled weakly at him and he grinned back.

"For your ears only Elizabeth" he smiled.

"Anything for you Forsythe" I smiled back at him knowing that I was already deeply in love with this man and it scared me, more than she does.

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