Chapter 38: L.A.

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Camila's POV:

This just doesn't feel like home anymore. My mom opens the front door of my new L.A. apartment and I leave my bags in my room before taking a look out of the window. I remembered this city differently. The sun used to shine brighter and the sky was clearer. When we lived here before splitting up, L.A. was the most beautiful place in the world to me, but now it's just really dull. "Are you tired honey?" My mom says rubbing my back and plants a soft kiss on my head. "Yeah, kinda." I answer staring blankly at the skyline. "You have a long day tomorrow, maybe you should rest. I'll make you something to eat." She says sweetly and walks to the kitchen. "Thanks mom." I say smiling and start walking towards my room. "But remember to call her first Camila, she must be worried sick." She adds and I nod softly. "I will, thanks again." I answer and disappear into my room. Lauren's face immediately pops back into my head and I feel the tears I had been holding back since our goodbye in Miami start to run down my face. Just remembering about her face as she waved goodbye is giving me chest pains. I had to be the strong one, I couldn't break down in tears with her in front of me because it would only make things worse. She needed me to be strong, but now that I'm finally alone with me feelings I can't hold back my tears anymore.

*********18 hours earlier**********

"Camila? Camila? Are you okay? Camila please talk to me." My mom says shaking my shoulders. I quickly snap back to reality as I try to swallow the big lump in my throat. I can't have a break down in front of my mom right now. She's going to think I'm not ready to go to L.A. and she'll start to worry and that's the last thing I want, but pretending saying goodbye to Lauren didn't break my heart is harder than I thought. "Yeah, I'm okay." I answer softly staring at the floor. "I know you and Lauren are really close and you haven't been apart in a while, but she's going to be okay." She says comfortingly and I just nod. If I start talking about her I know I won't be able to hold back the tears that are forcefully trying to come out. "Hija please, you're scaring me. What's going on?" My mom keeps on pushing me to talk. We haven't talked about my relationship with Lauren, and I always assumed she knew about it since she knew we were together last year, but it seems like she has no idea what's really going on in my heart right now. "I love her mom. I love her like I have never loved anyone before and watching her walk away is the hardest thing that has ever happened to me." I blurt out and take a deep breath to try to calm down. "Everything is going to be just fine Mila, I promise. True love is stronger than distance." She tells me lovingly and kisses my forehead. "Thanks mom, but I really don't want to talk about this. I'm going to be okay." I say with a forced smile and after a couple of minutes we walk into our plane. Waiting in the airport before our flight took off was especially hard because I couldn't do much to distract me. All I could think about was Lauren. She's going to college, where she's going to meet a ton of cool people and I'm pretty sure she's going to have the time of her life. And that's makes me really, really happy, but it also really scares me that she'll slowly forget about me. Those thoughts clearly aren't helping to keep myself from crying, but our future really scares me right now. "Try to get some sleep, tomorrow you'll meet with the producer really early." My mom brings me back to reality and I give her a soft smile. "I will, thanks mom." But I couldn't sleep, not with the image of Lauren's wet cheeks on my mind.

******************
At least my mom is more than cool with my relationship. I remember at some point last year we were both really scared to come out, but it actually feels nice to know the people who love you support you. I grab my phone and text her something short but cute. As much as I've tried I can't stop crying and listening to her voice is the only thing that could make things a little better. I honestly didn't think things would be this hard. I've never missed anyone like this and we have only been apart for less than a day. How is it possible to need someone so desperately? I'm starting to have trouble breathing because of how much I actually need to have her by my side right now. I want to hug her and just tell her how much I love her, because I really do, and it's becoming unbearable not being able to hear her voice. After a while a feel my phone buzzing and seeing Lauren's name in the caller ID makes my heart skip a beat. I quickly wipe the tears away from my face and take a deep breath before picking up her call. "Lauren, hey!" I say excitedly. "Hey babe, are you alright?" She says and hearing her voice makes me the happiest person alive. "Now I am, oh my God you have no idea how much I missed your voice." I say sighing and lay down on my bed. "Me too babe, but I need you to listen to me." She says sounding a lot more serious than I thought she would. "What's going on?" I ask her confused. "I got a text, you can't let anyone inside your apartment okay? I don't know what to do to keep you safe, just stay inside and don't open your door." She says worriedly. "Lauren you're scaring me, what's going on?" I say and suddenly hear a knock on my door. "Please Camz be careful. I love you so much." Lauren says on the phone as I walk to my door. "Camila you have a visitor." My mom says with a smile. "Lo I got to go, I love you too, I'll call you when I can." I tell her sweetly and think maybe Dinah is here to see me. "Okay, please take care. I love you." I hear her say before I hang up. I can't pretend what she told me didn't scare me as fuck, but I'm sure there's nothing to worry about. If I could I would've stayed talking to her all night long, but if someone came to see me I can't be that rude. I get out of my room following my mom and walk to the living room, where I hear a familiar voice. "Welcome back to L.A., I missed you." Austin says putting his arms around my body, and I finally understand what Lauren meant.

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