✓ ❘ 𝐄𝐌𝐎 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 ─ 𝐌𝐂𝐑. 𝐏!𝐀𝐓𝐃. 𝐅𝐎𝐁. 𝐓Ø𝐏.

Love. (Gerard Way x Reader)

You weren't good enough for him. You weren't good enough for anyone. That's why they all cheated on you. Left you. You weren't good enough. You were damaged, broken and just not deserving of someone like Gerard. For God's sake, you couldn't even be intimate with him without bursting into tears, worried that he's going to leave you.

But you loved him, and you were terrified of losing him, so you never voiced your anxieties. But they were there, and they were more evident than ever.

~

"Dude, I'm telling you, this is the hottest one I've seen."

Gerard snorted as he rolled his eyes at the short guitarist. "Wow, how many times have we heard that one, huh guys?" he smirked, looking at Ray and Mikey, who chuckled in agreement.

"Alright, fine," Frank groaned, "This is the hottest one I've seen so far." He sat down on the sofa, pulled up the video on his laptop, and patted the empty spots on the sofa, encouraging his friends to join him.

Mikey and Ray looked at each other, sharing a shrug before shuffling over, taking their seats next to Frank. They all turned to glance expectantly at Gerard, who was still leaning against the entryway, arms folded.

"Nah, I'm good," he said.

Frank tilted back his head and let out another annoyed groan. "Just come watch."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Uh, besides the fact that it's extremely weird to watch porn with my baby brother and two best friends?" Gerard sassed, raising an eyebrow. "I'm not in the mood."

"Yeah, well, if I was dating someone who looked like (Y/N), I'm sure I'd never feel the need to watch porn either," Ray sniggered, earning giggles from the other two boys as Gerard glared daggers at him.

"Make one more comment about how hot she is, any of you. I dare you," Gerard warned.

"Sorry," Ray grinned.

"But seriously," Frank leaned forward. "How is she?" He winked suggestively.

"That's none of your business."

"So, bad then?"

"No," Gerard frowned, before sighing and running a hand through his hair. "She's... she's fine."

"Fine?" Frank raised an eyebrow.

"Well, we haven't really done anything... intense, yet," Gerard admitted, shifting uncomfortably. "I mean," he sighed, shaking his head at the fact that he was actually telling the guys about the most intimate moments of your relationship, "we've only slept together twice."

"Twice?" Frank gawked. "But you've been together for, like, 6 months."

"I'm aware of that," Gerard huffed.

"Wow." The boys all widened their eyes, sharing looks.

Frank cleared his throat before speaking again. "You must be very frustrated, then."

"Eh."

The younger boy held out the laptop to his friend. "I think this can help with that."

~

You entered the house; the boys didn't even notice you come in, they were too immersed in whatever it is they were watching on the laptop.

Placing your coat on one of the hooks on the wall, you quietly made your way to the living room where they sat. Gerard had the laptop on his lap, and the others were craning their necks, trying to get a good look at the screen. Once you got near enough to see what they were watching, you discovered that they weren't just watching some random YouTube video or a movie. It was porn.

Covering your mouth so that your gasp wouldn't be audible, you slowly backtracked and softly climbed the stairs, your mind racing.

Running into your bathroom, you closed the door, a sharp thud echoing all around. You moved to the mirror, glancing at your tear-stained reflection as you clutched onto the sink.

You knew it. You knew that you weren't good enough for Gerard. But you couldn't even blame him for watching porn. I mean, you had only had sex with him twice in the six months you'd been together, and you'd been so emotional both times that you were sure it was an awful experience for him. And he was a man, after all. He had needs. And you couldn't fulfil those needs; you weren't good enough.

You were full-on sobbing by the time Gerard entered the bathroom, and his heart broke a little seeing you like that. He immediately engulfed you in his embrace, stroking your hair and shushing you.

"I'm sorry," you choked out, still crying, "I'm sorry I'm not good enough."

"My love, you are good enough."

"No, I'm not! I'm a fucking mess! You have to go and watch porn to get off because I can't have fucking sex with you without crying like a baby!"

"(Y/N), look at me," Gerard pulled back and cupped your face in his hands, looking at you with a serious expression, "The only reason I watched it is because the boys wouldn't get off my case about it. You're perfect. And I love you more than I've ever loved anything, or ever will love anything."

"How can you? I'm broken."

"Because so am I."

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Thank you for reading x