✓ ❘ 𝐄𝐌𝐎 𝐐𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐓 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒 ─ 𝐌𝐂𝐑. 𝐏!𝐀𝐓𝐃. 𝐅𝐎𝐁. 𝐓Ø𝐏.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐬 𝐀 𝐋𝐨𝐭, 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞. (𝐏. 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐩 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

"It seemed like a really good idea at the time," Pete said, scratching the back of his neck.

"Really?" you scoffed. "Please explain to me what part of 'let's take Patrick drinking the night before he's supposed  to meet his girlfriend's family for the first time' is a good idea because I'm kinda having a hard time figuring it out!"

"He was really nervous about meeting everyone, okay! I thought it'd be a good way to calm his nerves."

"Yeah, well, now I have a boyfriend who's still drunk from the night before with two hours to go before meeting my parents so THANKS PETE!"

"I'm really sorry, (Y/N). But you don't have to yell," Pete pouted.

You sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just, this is really important to me. The people who mean most to me are going to meet the love of my life for the first time and they're expecting some shy, sweet, fedora-wearing angel; not a drunk, horny idiot. Patrick, NO!" You pushed Patrick away as he tried for the third unsuccessful time to remove your shirt.

Patrick pouted at your unwillingness to have sex with him and mumbled words which sounded something like "...sexy time with (Y/N)... all I want... but NO PATRICK... so rude."

Pete let out a raucous laugh, but stopped when you shot him a glare.

"Do you see what I mean?!" you gestured at Patrick, who was now laying on the bed, facing the ceiling and singing The Ballad of Mona Lisa - perfectly in tune, even while totally wasted. "I cannot walk into lunch with my family with this!" 

"Look," Pete put a reassuring arm around your shoulders, "We still have two hours, right? I'm sure we can find a way to sober him up in time for lunch."

"How the hell are we gonna do that?"

"Well, jeez, I don't know, (Y/N). I came up with the idea, isn't that enough?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake, Pete!"

"Chill, woman. Damn."

You were just about to strangle him when Patrick spoke again, words slightly slurred.

"Guys. GUYS!" He shot upright. "Why do we never see baby pigeons?!"

You just rolled your eyes as Pete burst out laughing again and reached for your cell, which was now ringing.

"Hello?"

"(Y/N), sweetie. I have bad news. Your father left the bath tap running while we ran down to the store and now the entire house is flooded! Don't ask me how he could've done such a stupid thing. Sometimes I think he's lost it completely! But anyway, the house won't be usable for the next 5 hours at the least, so we'll have to reschedule our lunch."

"Mom, that's terrible!" you spoke into the phone before mouthing a quick 'Thank God'.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come down to help or something?"

"No, sweetie, we've got it handled. But I'm really sorry about the lunch. We were really excited about meeting that Patrick of yours. He sounds like a wonderful person."

You looked over at Patrick, who was holding Pete to his chest, stroking his head and whisper-singing 'Soft kitty, warm kitty'. You couldn't help but let out a giggle at the sight.

"Yeah, he really is something special."

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Thank you for reading x