Alpha's Mate (boyxboy) ✔

Big Fight

When the night came, after I had my shower; I sat down on the couch at the living room as Cole was busy cooking for dinner in the kitchen. I could hear his soft hum, and the strong fragrance of his dishes, but everything seemed so blurred in my eyes as I replayed what had happened this evening.

That man who was hugging and kissing his forehead...

Who is he? I meant, I literally knew who he is but, who is he to Cole? They seemed pretty close though, and Cole looked utterly happy, comfortable and...he even talked about his feelings with him more instead with me. I felt like a crap, useless, because all in all, that's what a mate should be like. I should be someone Cole was really comfortable of to talk about his feelings to, making him happy, sooth his stress away, but instead; I was the total opposite.

Sighing deeply, I leaned my back against the couch as I ran my fingertips along my forehead.

It's so frustratingly stressful.

"Kyle, dinner is ready..." Cole suddenly called out. I looked at him silently as he brought plates of foods and placed them down on the dining table. I watched him silently; my mind was dying to ask him about him and that doctor. "...hey".

"Oh yeah, sorry..." I snapped out of my thought. I looked at him, his eyes were fixed on me before he shrugged nonchalantly and sat down by the dining table. I followed him --- his face was clear for me to see since we were sitting facing each other now. And, as expected, the dinner was rather silent and awkward. None of us wanted to initiate a conversation, and the sounds of clinging cutleries could be heard clearly.

I was aching to ask him about the doctor.

"So, is there anything you want to talk about?" I asked, bracing myself. I played with my food --- my appetites had been long gone since I had a more important thing I need to care about. "...you know, about you and that---".

"It's none of your business, Kyle. We're just friends".

"Yeah?" I sneered. "...what kind of friends who gives a kiss on your forehead?" I said. I noticed he was giving me a small ignorant glance as he continued to eat his dinner as if I hadn't say anything. I clenched my jaw. "...answer me, Cole".

"So what?" he hissed. I heard the sound of his fork being thrown harshly against his plate --- the clunk sound was loud. Then, he stood up. "...I'm done. Don't fucking talk to me again".

But before he walked away, I quickly grabbed him by his wrist.

"Hey!".

"Let me go, Kyle!" he shouted. He tried to jerk my hand away as hard as he could. But, I'd tightened my grip. "...I said, let me g---".

"No! We have to talk!".

"Don't fucking touch me!" he yelled. I saw his face had already turned red and his eyes turned glassy. "...we can only talk when you're already brave enough".

"What?" I asked confusedly. And, when he noticed that I'd lost my focus, he pulled his hand away as hard as he could until I'd released my grip. "...what do you mean?".

"What do I mean?" he repeated. There was a hint of sarcasm in his tone as he faking a smirk. A single tear already felt down from the brim of his eyes as he added; "...what do I mean?" he repeated. "...what do I mean is, you're a fucking coward. You're afraid to risk everything because why, you're selfish. You only think about yourself. You only care about your reputation. And, now I want to ask you, after a second thought, do you think you really deserve a second chance? I think not. I think not..." he said. His breath was hitched inside his throat, and judging from the way he was talking to me, I could say he would cry in any second. "...have you ever think about my baby? No. He doesn't even have a chance to see the world with his own eyes. He doesn't even have a chance to hear my voice. He doesn't even have a chance to hug me. And, if it isn't because of him, I don't think I would ever hate you this much. You kill him, Kyle. But here I am, giving you a second chance without fighting for his justice. And when I thought about it again, it's a really mean decision. I feel like I was backstabbing him for giving a second chance to the man who'd killed him. I feel like he was alone. Nobody is on his side. I would never do that to him, Kyle. I'll never..." he finished. His voice was shaking, his face turned deep color of red as he wiped his tear-stained cheeks. "...and now I want to ask you again; have you ever rethink about what I'd told you to do few months ago? I think not. It's obvious that you're not taking it seriously when I'd told you I need justice for my late child. So why should I take it serious when you ask me for a second chance?".

I swallowed a lump of saliva built itself inside my throat.

"So, is this the reason why you've been acting so---".

"Yes, Kyle! Yes!" he quickly interjected. "...I dream of my baby. His sad face. His desperate cries for help. His weak body when you punch him to dead. His pale skin. His dull eyes..." he cried. "...you're a fucking coward, useless, not suit to be a fath---".

"Don't you ever say that, Cole! Don't you ever!" I cut off. I got up, towering his tiny size as he looked up at me with red eyes and clenched jaw.

"Why not?" he said. He didn't say anything anymore as he cried --- his whole body was trembling as if he was really in a deep pain. "...I was just fighting for my baby's justice. Is that too much to do?".

"Cole..." my voice softened down.

"You're mad when I told you that you're not good enough to be a father but, have you ever try to look at yourself? Until now, what have you do to repent your mistake for killing our child? You're not sacrificing. You're selfish. You're only think about yourself. And if you think you're already good enough to be a father just by planning of having another baby with me, then I'm sorry. I can't. You need to learn your lesson from the past and repent your mistake first. That's all I ask..." he said. He wiped his face with the back of his hands and he sighed heavily. "...please get a justice for my son, Kyle. I'm begging you..." he said finally before he walked away, leaving me alone --- speechless and confused as his words kept replaying in my head.