Alpha's Mate (boyxboy) ✔

Go Back Home

Since y'all are very clever at guessing game... >.<

I woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare. Staring blankly at an empty space with one hand casually tucked underneath my head --- I then looked to the side to see Cole who was sleeping soundly with his back facing me.

Biting my bottom lip, I silently shifted closer towards him and carefully wrapped my arms around his waist so he didn't wake up. Then, as I was silently putting gentle kisses all along his naked shoulder, I suddenly heard small sniffs.

"I can't do this anymore, Kyle..." he said softly. His voice was cracked and his body was slightly shivering. "...I want to go home".

I was stunned, confused and scared at the same time.

"But--but why? Don't you like it here?" I asked, quickly sitting up. I looked at Cole as he curled up under the blanket, his tears-stained cheeks were clear for me to see underneath the bright moonlight. "...we have so much fun here. Aren't you? We're progressing. We're heal---".

"I'm sorry but I really can't do this anymore..." he interjected. His breath hitched inside his throat as he added, softly; "...I've try to convince myself to stay here with you longer but, I can't. I lose it. I missed home. I missed my family. I don't want to be here anymore, alone with you, because it hurts. I seriously can't, Kyle. I want to go home, please".

"I thought you like it here..." I said with clear frustration laced in my voice.

"I do".

"T--then why? Why do you want to leave then?" I asked. I could hear the slight tremble in my voice as tears started to build in the brims of my eyes. Somehow, I'm afraid that the thing I'd fear the most turned into reality. He'd leave me. "...what's wrong? Did I hurt you somewhere? Is it something I've said? Please tell me, Cole..." I asked desperately. "...please, I--I'll do anything for you jus---".

"I just can't do this anymore, Kyle!" he suddenly shouted --- my eyes widen in surprised and pure frustration. He sat up, face red and full of tears and hairs all messed up. "...you know, the only reason why we're here is because you want to heal me. You want to get me back the ability to have a child. You want to have a child with me. And we did it. We go to that river, have sex, and we did stuff like what Grandma Nina had told you. But, what happens? Nothing. I felt more useless. I'm not pregnant, and every time we have sex, my mind keeps telling me that...you're just taking advantages of me".

And at that one being said, I clenched my jaw. I was mad when he said that.

"We're trying..." I said. "...we have to be patient. We have to keep trying".

"How long?!" Cole raised his voice up. He clenched his trembling hands as tight as he could --- my hands were aching to grasp them into mine to sooth the stress away.  "...we've been here for almost eight months now, Kyle. Where's my child?!".

I was silent.

"...I don't think I was healed. I feel really stupid for believing you in the first place because why, I want a child. I seriously want to be healed so I can have a child again. You broke me. You make me this way. You make me look more useless than I am before. I know I am weak. I know I can't hunt so well. I'm not as strong as other werewolves, but being able to have a child is like a gift for me. I feel blessed. But because of you, because of a stupid fate that mate me with you, I lose it. And what am I now? Totally useless. I'm a submissive, weak werewolf who incapable to bear a child. And it's all because of you!" he said out of rage. Tears felt down across his cheeks like raindrops, and without wasting another second, I softly shed them away. But he pushed me. "...I'm sorry but I give up. I give up. I seriously can't do this anymore".

"Cole..." I whispered out. I lost for words. I don't know what to say, so I just reached out to him, softly pulling him towards me as he cried as loud as he could against me.

"I give up..." he said between cries. His tears felt on my skin, wetting the area there as I softly caressed his hairs. "...what I've ever done wrong to you that you make me like this, Kyle?" he said. And at that said, I hugged him tightly and tears started to fall down along my cheeks. My chest felt constricted --- the hollow space was filled with neverending regrets. If only I wasn't that stupid back then... "...all I ever wanted is to be happy. But you took everything away just because we're mated. You hate me, and I have to strain my tears every time I flash back on how you used to treat me before, Kyle. The pain. The trauma. The memories. They never leave me. They never will".

"I'm sorry..." I said. It was the only thing I could say at that moment, to which he responded by crying even louder.

"Take me back home, please...." he then replied. He clutched my arm as tight as he could, his nails buried deep into my flesh as he was straining all his anger and sorrow. I hugged him tight, my breath was brushing his hairs. "...I want to take a rest. I want to go home. I want to see my family and friends. Please".

I frowned. I got nothing to say. Well, if that was what he wanted, then I should obey.

And, softly kissing his forehead, I replied. "We'll go back home tomorrow. But now, please go back to sleep..." I added, shedding his tears. His face was still red, and when I leaned in to kiss his tear-stained cheeks; he sniffed like a child. "...you should have enough rest. We've got a long way to go tomorrow..." I finished.

I watched him as he wiped his face silently with the back of his hands before he lay back down. Then, after making sure he stopped crying; I lay down beside him, purlosely leaving a few inches away from him. My eyes never leave him until he slowly drifted back to sleep --- soft snores replaced his loud cries.

That night, I watched his sleeping face, my fingers softly brushed against his skin with tears in my eyes.

It's hard, but I don't have a choice.