Suicide Attempt

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Trigger warning




Do you know that feeling when blood felt like draining out of your body just because you're too scared and nervous? Yeah. That's how I'd felt right now. My heart was pounding wildly against my ribcage, and for a second, I felt like I'd forgot how to breath. I looked at everything around me with teary eyes and shaky hands, lips trembling and my whole body turned ice cold.

"Cole..." I whispered out underneath my sharp breath. My eyes looked at the heap of broken glasses on top of the counter and the trail of his fresh blood all across the white tiled floor. Everything looked messed up; so messed up that I could felt my knees wobbled and my head turned dizzy in uneasiness. "...w-what you're doing?" I asked with shaky voice as I roughly ran my fingertips through my hairs. "...what the fuck y-you're doing, Cole?" I cried out.

There, laying in the bathtub with one of his wrist slit opened, was the boy I'd used to hurt all of this time. His eyes were puffy and red as he stared at the ceiling --- beads of tears felt down across his cheeks like pouring rain.

Quickly running towards him, I then pulled him out from the bathtub and laid him down on my lap. He didn't flinched, nor did he pushing me away as I pressed him tight against my chest though --- which I'm thankful of --- since his whole skin was so pale and his tiny body was trembling tremendously perhaps due to the coldness. Brushing his cheek gently for a while, I then buried my face into his soaked wet hair and I cried. I cried and I cried until I could felt my body was shaking. I held his hands into mine, which then he responded by clenching mine as tight as he could.

"I really wish you treat me like this before, Kyle..." I heard him whispered. I hugged him tightly, not caring anything about whatever he's going to say next. After all, I knew I am wrong. I knew I didn't deserve him after everything I'd done. I really wanted him to say that into my face honestly, but right now, all I ever wanted was just to hug him as tight as I could and made sure he was safe. I wanted to make him felt safe and forget how big of a monster I was. I wanted him to know that I would always be with him starting from now on. And that's all I wanted him to know now.

"I'm sorry..." I said into his hair. Pulling away, I then pressed my forehead against his and forced him to looked into my eyes. We stared into each other's eyes for a few second before I kissed his lips gently which then he responded with a soft sob. "...please don't do something like this again..." I said as I looked down at his wrist. The cut wasn't that deep though, which I'm really thankful of as I pressed my palm on top of it to heal it. The process only took me a few seconds though, and when it's done, his wrist turned back to its scarless, clean state --- as if he'd never cut it before. "...I want to be with you, Cole. Please don't do this again..." I added as I pecked his once injured wrist. "...I'm begging you".

He stared at me with a deep frown wore across his face. I didn't know what he was thinking about though, but at the moment our eyes locked with each other; I could felt my wolf started to howl excitedly. For sure, it was ready to mate again. But of course I wouldn't force Cole to do it like I had before. He definitely wasn't ready for that.

Then I heard him sighed heavily.

"Can you please take me to the bed? I'm cold..." he said after a while. I actually expected him to say something different though, but if that what he wanted...

"Sure..." I smiled as I lifted him up in bridal style. He held onto me with his eyes closed and arms wrapped tightly around my neck.



~x~



After I'd made sure that the bathroom was clean, I then proceed to wash Cole up first before I take him to the bed.

"What do you want to eat later?" I asked as I wiped the inside of his thighs carefully. I ran the wet cloth all across his silky smooth skin --- pampering it with soft kisses once in a while --- as he held tightly onto my shoulder.

"I don't know..." was his only answer. He pressed his lips into a thin line and added; "...I just want to take a rest by the way".

I furrowed.

"But you haven't eat anything yet..." I said.

"I don't care".

And that's it. He didn't say anything anymore as I washed him silently.

Twenty minutes later, I'd finally done. I dressed him up, and despite he'd refused, I still forced him to take at least a glass of milk just to slightly filling up his empty stomach. I held him tight as I watched him drank the whole glass of milk --- afraid to let go --- and when he's done, I took him into my room, undressing him so he'd be more comfortable and tucked him underneath my blanket.

"Sleep tight..." I told him as I brushed his cheek gently with my thumb. He looked at me for a few second, until his eyes finally fluttered softly before he finally asleep.

I then kissed his lips tenderly.

"I love you, Cole".

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