Bully [k.th] | Completed

23

A/N: Sorry for the lack of chapters, I'm not gonna make up an excuse like "I've been busy with school" or "I couldn't think of ideas".  Because school isn't the issue or that I can't think of a creative story concept.  I have depression, no surprise, its common now days sadly;  its just gotten worse for me lately.  I'm also lazy 98% of the time.   Not necessarily because I'm just like y'know " sleep, yea, fuck me up" its more like "I'm sad and an alternative to being sad is sleep." Basically meaning that I would rather waste weeks at a time sleeping than trying to fix myself because its exhausting.  Again, me trying to justify my horrible word choice; not that people with depression need fixing-- that's not what I'm saying at all.  I'm saying that: instead of looking for other alternative choices like finding new music to listen to or take walks I bury myself in blankets and sleep. 

          Not all people can push themselves to try and change their habits or to help themselves.  Because if you know what its like, you'd understand what I mean when I say that I can't write a new chapter on a dedicated routine because I just can't. 
No, I also can't come up with a more "logical" and "accepting" reason that some people will agree with. 
The only reason I can come up with without having a mental breakdown is: I can't do it; at least not now.

I have been writing this chapter for months and months.  But eventually I will finish it, and eventually I will finish this book.  But it is not today.
(I know someone is gonna make a Not Today reference so go ahead.)

"What's up? Minsoo right?"  He asked setting the tray down and taking a seat next to me.

"That's right!" Her enthusiasm boosted 100x when he arrived.

"I was just telling Hara how everyone at school has missed her so much!" All of her focus was now dedicated to him.

"Her name is Hana but I totally see how you could get those confused." He corrected her.

"Oh! My mistake!" She giggled "I should head out, my friends are waiting on me!" Her smile was always on her face when she looked at him.

"Bye!" I smiled at her and waved her goodbye.  I waited for Tae to move across the table since the booth was empty now, but he didn't.

"Aren't you gonna move over there?" I asked sticking the straw from the chocolate milk into my mouth.

"Nope." He took a bite of a muffin pop before continuing:
"I like knowing your safe when I'm beside you."

My heart.

"Oh" I looked down and started fidgeting​ with my hands avoiding eye contact.

"Aren't you gonna eat?" He asked with a pastry in his mouth.

"Yeah" I grabbed one off the tray and started eating.  I had forgotten what actual food tasted like.

After a few minutes of just crunching sounds, he spoke up.

"Can I ask you a question?" I nodded while I was still eating.

"What happened to your parents?"

Does he know?

"Hm?" I looked up at him shocked.

"I had to- for the paper- I um- shit okay hang on" He started to be jittery and panicked.  I knew he was nervous and trying not to make me upset.

"You know?" I asked hoping that would call him down.  He nodded and put his head in his hands, looking down at the table.

"It's okay" I reached over and grabbed his hands, he was probably surprised since my hands were freezing cold.

"They were in a car accident when I was a kid" He looked at me with a sad expression.

"I'm sorry..." I smiled reassuring him that I was okay; I had to be strong for the both of us.

"I had to go through your boxes when you were admitted" he looked ashamed of himself.

"They needed your parents contact information and you never talked about them so I didn't know where to look so I went through it and saw a photo and there was a address on the back and so I went there and it was to the cemetery but I didn't go look for theirs because I know that's personal and-"

I cut him off.

"Tae" he looked at me with his puppy-like eyes.

"It's okay"

He looked surprised that I would even say something like that.  But after all, he deserves to know.

"Are you sure? Because I understand if yo-"

"Yes" I interrupted.

"Do you mind if I ask, what kind of people they were?" He looked like a curious kid so I couldn't say no.

"Sure" I took a deep breath and began.

"My mom was a professional kick boxer until she fractured 3 ribs which forced her to retire, it was too dangerous to continue since it had almost punctured her lung.  She had a very brave spirit, afraid of nothing besides losing her kid. I was supposed to have an older brother but my mom had a miscarriage.  Explains why she was so protective of me.  She had short hair, I though if it looked good on her, then it'll look good on me.  I was kinda right". I fiddled with the ends of my hair and continued.

"My dad" I said, stopping with my hair and stared at the table.

"We were a lot closer than me and my mom were.  He was a Navy soldier on the verge of retirement.  We did everything together, that's why I didn't need friends, because I had my dad.  We had a tradition, the last day of every month to go get breakfast at a very small cafe that was close to our house.  We had a contest as well, whoever could pick the most dandelions while we walked would get strawberry cheesecake.  It was obvious that he let me win every time  but, I didn't mind.  Just meant more cheesecake for me."
 
I chuckled having small flashbacks of the different types of weather we had to endure walking there. 

  "We had a song.  Autumn in New York by Frank Sinatra.  He was a huge jazz fanatic, god, he was so lame.  Whenever it would play we would stop what we were doing and dance to it.  My mom would sometimes play it on purpose when either my dad or I were upset or stressed.  He was the type of guy that if you're sad, he would drop everything to make you feel better; must be where I got that from." I laughed.

After hours had gone by, we had eventually returned to the hospital.