Family of Hamilton-ON HIATUS

Big Boom revisited

"This is such a sense of deja vu" I said to Skye as we climbed up onto the roof. It was just like last year except this year I was more prepared for the fireworks. Plus I had Skye with me and we were going to be together the whole time. 

"Yep I remember you rolling up to me and introducing yourself that night. I thought damn that girl is one hot chick. We hung out here on the roof until the fireworks started and you got scared. Tonight we going to be okay?"

I nodded holding up my headphones "Mami got Sebastian and I both a pair. I am going to make it through this years show without a problem. I am worried about Mami though" I sighed.

"Yeah I heard you and Lin talking earlier, how is she holding up?"

I nodded "Not good, she spent the night on the couch. The doctor's told her that there was nothing she could've done but loosing a baby isn't something you can just get over. I can't believe just two days ago we were planning for London with the baby."

"I know it has to be hard on your whole family but she is here tonight and that's what counts. You guys will get through this and come out it stronger. The least we can try and do is enjoy the night okay?" she said smiling.

I nodded as we sat down in our favorite spot. Katie joined us soon after and we talked about the plans we had made to go to the waterpark next week after Lin's final show. We hadn't done much as a group and that was about to change. I sighed as I watched Mami come out and wince in pain, I wanted to make her feel all better. I walked over to her and give her a hug "I love you mami" as I took the food she was holding.

She hugged me back "I love you too baby girl. I'm doing okay, really. I've stopped bleedng and everything. I need this night out to just get out of the house. I have to face the public sometime and today is better than on July 9th."

I nodded and hugged her again before moving to put the food away. I sat down with Skye and Katie and we continued to plan out the rest of our summer. Once everyone was on the roof we began to eat.

After we ate we still had some time left before the fireworks so we went back inside as a group and decided to try our hands at darts again. This time our team came out victorious and Thayne handed each of us a cookie. I had to laugh "You did that exact same thing last year."

"Yep I can't knock tradition. You gonna be okay this year kiddo?" he asked looking at me.

I nodded "Yes I have a better plan this year. Speaking of, we probably should head back up."

Once we got upstairs we noticed that everyone had moved over toward the edge which meant the show was about to start. I grabbed my headphones from the bag and went to sit beside Mami and Papi. Skye and Katie took up places beside me and I pulled Sebastian onto my lap. I felt safe surrounded by family and friends.

Once the lights went out around us Sebastian began to fidget. I hummed Dear Theodosia to him to help him settle down as the sky began to light up with color. The headphones helped a lot as I didn't hear but muffled sounds of the fireworks going off. I enjoyed watching Sebastian point at all the pretty fireworks and I could just imagine him oohing and aahing over them as well. I looked over to see Papi holding Mami in his arms and rocking her. I had a feeling they were both lost in their own thoughts.

Once the show was over we helped pick up the mess off the roof and carry everything back downstairs. I carried a sleeping Sebastian and Papi helped Mami back down the stairs. I said goodnight to Katie and Skye and promised that we would get together on the 9th to get ready for the last show.

Once home Lin took Sebastian up to bed and I sat down beside Vanessa on the couch. I reached over and hugged her tightly "I am so sorry Mami. I wish I could make things better for you."

She smiled as she returned the hug "You just being here is helping. I may never get over loosing a child but I have two beautiful children here with me. If it's meant for Lin and I to have another it will happen. Renee gave me some good advice as she has lost a baby in the past, I have to take it a day at a time. She ended up with 2 healthy babies after loosing her baby so I know it is possible. Your Papi and I just need time to grieve and right now is the hardest time for us to do that. Do you think maybe the week after he ends his run you can watch Sebastian for us for the day? I think we both just need to get away for a bit."

I nodded "Of course I can. I will do anything to help you guys out. Are you going to sleep down here again tonight?"

She smiled "No I will go to bed in a bit. I just need to go into my office and take care of something. Why don't you go check on your Papi before going to bed."

After one last hug I did just that. I knocked on their bedroom door "Papi can I come in?" Once he gave his permission I walked inside. I found him in the little alcove that would've been the baby's area until Vanessa joined us in London. I hugged him "Papi it's going to be okay someday, Mami says it will be."

He sighed "Why is it your the best comforter, when I should be. She is right though, we will get through this. I just wish I could do more for her is all" he sighed.

"Well she asked me to keep Sebastian for a day so you two can spend time together. After this week is over you guys need it. I think that will help you both to heal more than anything. I really should go to bed and so should you. We have a very early call tomorrow thanks to Andy wanting to have me do something for your final performance."

He chuckled lightly "Yeah I know, I just hope it doesn't involve us doing dancing. I am going to be a mess as is trying to make it through the show. I don't want to mess up while doing something special with you."

I shook my head "We both are going to be a mess that night. I already asked not to partake in the final scene, I just can't do it. I will be a bawling mess by then since i get to play the bullet that night. Ugh okay I really do need sleep, this is making me sad just thinking about it. I love you Papi."

"I love you too kiddo...goodnight" he said giving me one last hug as I walked out of the room.

A/N

I at first thought I could write the miscarriage, but I just can't. There will be referrences to the baby they lost over time but there will be a happy ending down the road I promise. I love my characters too much to keep giving them heartbreak.