Mistakes - Matthew Daddario (completed)

together forever? - final

Hey I guess?

As I write this entry I sit under the shade of my favourite tree.

I'm 40 now and I have three children, Neveah who's now 15, Toby who is 11 and 7 year old Lilian.

I can see them from where I'm sat, playing with Evangeline who's now 37 and her children.

15 year old Elijah, Eliza who's 9, Samuel who just turned 5 and Luke who is sat with his father Steven, is just 2.

But, moving on, today marks three months since the day my heart completely broke, when I got the call at 4am from Aunt Cat telling me that he had passed away and was now with Elle- no, was now with mum.

My heart broke to hear that now, both of those who took me in and took on the parental roles to ensure I was looked after, loved and raised right, were now gone.

Ell was by blood of course my sister, my children her nieces and nephews, Evangeline who I call my sister was technically my niece. I knew that, they never hid anything from me. An open and honest policy was the only rule we had in our family home and I appreciated that so much.

But blood didn't come first.

My own blood disowned me. Just like they did to Ellena for her career choices and Jackson for loving his fiancé.

For that reason, Ellena isn't my sister and Matthew isn't my sisters boyfriend.

They're my parents in every which way that matters. They raised me from three years of age and ran circles around my "biological excuses" of parents. They did so much right by me and I could never fault them.

Ellena passed early in Spring of last year. She would of been 63 this year. Matthew would of been 67 in October had he not have passed three months ago.

I'm not sure what else to-

"Lou? You coming?" a voice called out, Evangeline was waiting I soon saw glancing up.

"Yeah, give me a minute,"

Walking slowly over to the family plot we had in place after mom passed last year felt like an eternity. My footsteps became heavier and my eyes began to fill, as I reached where everyone else had gathered, I saw they were in the same state.

"I miss you mom," Eva cried, her nose now stuffy and red, "It was bearable when dad was around but now it's harder, everything's harder, but know I love and miss you both,"

In turns everyone said their piece, Steven, Serene, even Neveah and Elijah who were old enough to understand, stood, listened and spoke to them.

Then the younger ones were brought over by Serene and her and Eva told them carefully, that if they spoke to the photos on the marble stone, Nanna and Grandpa would hear them.

Then they did, they talked lightly about how they missed Nannies baking and singing in the kitchen with her, early on Sunday mornings. How they wished they could be playing football with grandpa and visiting him at the farm.

For the younger ones it was light and cheerful and to be honest what we all needed to hear. We didn't want to have heavy hearts and down days, we could grieve and celebrate their lives and for us that was okay.

Because despite their mistakes; they sure did amazing. They lived full, fantastic lives and I'm forever going to be indebted to them for everything they've done for me.

I love you mom and dad. Always.

Love Louis x