Mistakes - Matthew Daddario (completed)

F i f t y F o u r

It was after eleven at night when I gathered up the courage to ask him.

To ask him if he truly meant what he had said to my father, "I'm in love with your daughter and we plan to be together for a long time and we'll raise your son to be who he wants and what he wants and we'll make a damn sight sure that we don't fuck up like you did or ever think for a second he isn't loved it appreciated for who he is,"

Did he truly want to be with me for a long time? Especially now considering I have Louis? Or did he just say it in the moment to defend me and my choices and to put my father in his place that he so rightly deserves?

Everyone had left a little after ten, Louis had joined us for dinner, been bathed and put into bed for seven. I'd read him a story, kissed him goodnight when he said 'thank you ellell for keeping me and being a better mummy than mummy was' which brought tears to my eyes that I held at bay while I told him goodnight once more and left the room; before having a little cry in the kitchen.

Matt had found me doing the dishes in the kitchen, crying silently and asked me what was wrong, telling me, "You're doing everything right if he's telling you that after what, just a day of having him? He's clearly happier here and getting everything a three year old needs, it's a good thing baby,"

"I know, I know he's happy but it, it just feels good to hear him say that after so little time. Makes me feel like I've actually accomplished something and I've never had that from them, my parents I mean," I sighed, turning to face him as I cleaned the last dish and put it on the draining rack, "But hearing that? I know I've actually made someone happy,"

"You've been making people happy for months Ell," Matt chuckled, his hand reached for mine and I raised an eyebrow, confused, "Well, our friends for starters, are happier since you entered their lives but me? I'm happier than I've ever been, these what seven, eights months since we started talking have been the happiest months in my life and no, I'm not just saying that,"

"How did you even know I was gonna say that?"

"You're predictable Ell, so darn cute but bloody hell, you aren't half predictable," he chuckled, pecking my forehead before leading us both back to the sitting room, where we watched This Is The End and laughed the rest of the night away.

But like I said, I didn't get a chance to talk through what he said to my father until after eleven, after everyone else went home following the movie ending. I was loading the dishwasher and cleaning the remaining rubbish up while he saw everyone out.

I quickly showered, needing the time to think and prepare in my mind, what I was going to say and how I would ask it. It probably took me less than five minutes to wash my hair, body and shave, me obviously having mastered the task at hand. As I stepped out of the shower I grabbed the nearest towels, drying my body with one and wrapping my hair up in another before throwing on a shirt I'd grabbed from my clean laundry earlier and throwing it on, turns out it was one of Matts.

When I got back to my room, Matt was still no where to be seen, probably still occupied locking up and shutting off all the lights. So I jumped into bed, laying down on my back looking up at the ceiling, "You've got a bad habit of over thinking baby,"

Glancing up I was met with Matt, standing at the bottom of my bed, "Yeah, I guess you're right,"

"So what's bothering that pretty little face?" He chuckled, laying down beside me, his arm wrapping around me to pull me against his chest.

"Just, Louis and whether or not I'm cut out for raising him, I mean my parents screwed up with all three of us and there was two of them. What if I screw his life up even more than them because it's just me? What if they were wrong to give him to me and not Nathan? What if I turn out like them and don't make enough time fo-"