Through The Dark COMPLETED

Chapter 44

The next day, Julie was still emotionally exhausted.  It was so much easier to hide everything.  She was trying not to though.  She didn't want to get up.  Today was New Year's Eve.  They were treating it like a combination of Christmas and New Year's as they hadn't been able to spend Christmas together.  Niall and Harry were going to get them a small tree, and they were going to decorate it together and then exchange gifts.  While Harry was getting ready, Julie went in and climbed into bed with Amanda, laid her head on Amanda's shoulder, and snuggled into the covers.

"Hi, friend."  Amanda said kissing her head.  "You ok?"

"Not really."  Julie sighed.  "I'm exhausted.  All this wears me out.  And I just kept dreaming last night and waking up to make sure Harry was still there."

"JJ.  He's not going to leave, especially like that.  I get how you misunderstood what happened last night, but if you can deal with it, he's not going to leave."  Amanda tried to comfort her.

"What happens if Johnny finds me, Panda?  What happens then?"  Julie asked closing her eyes.

Amanda saw Niall coming out of the bathroom, and she immediately motioned him to stay quiet.  "JJ, I don't know.  But what I would like you to do is stand up to him.  Show him that he no longer can make you feel the way he did anymore.  If you show him you're not afraid, if you show him he doesn't affect your life anymore, he most likely will go away."

"I do wish I was as strong as Niall thinks I am."  Julie said taking a deep breath and relaxing.  She was so tired.

"You are.  You just need to realize it."  Amanda said.  She knew that's what Niall wanted to say.  "Just try to get some sleep.  We can relax while the boys go get the tree."

Niall nodded and then went into the kitchen for a drink.  He heard Harry come out.  "Morning."  He handed him a bottle of water.

"Morning."  Harry said taking the water.  "Have you seen Julie?"

"Yeah, she crawled in bed with Amanda.  I think we are on our own with this tree thing.  She seemed pretty tired.  And Amanda wasn't going to leave her."  Niall said walking to the front.

"Yeah, she was pretty restless last night.  That may be my fault."  Harry said putting his boots and jacket on.

"Harry, you both need to stop being so hard on yourselves.  As long as you weren't really planning on leaving her, I don't think you have anything to blame yourself for."  Niall said going outside with him.

"I don't want to leave, Niall.  But if things get worse, then what am I supposed to do?  She's so scared of him finding her, and I'm the one that's makes it most likely to happen.  I can't be there to protect her all the time.  I'm sure you don't want Amanda to be put in that situation."  Harry said walking with Niall down to the owner's cabin.  He had helped them with their goal of getting a tree and decorations for this celebration.

"If he's going to find her, Harry, he's going to do it whether you are with her or not.  You know that as well as I do."  Niall said.  "I get your concern.  I get you would never do anything to hurt her on purpose, but think about how much it's hurting her to think you will leave.  She trusts you.  It's hard for her."

"Why do you seem to understand her so much?  Like you seem to get her more than anyone, and I can't figure that out."  Harry said as they knocked on the door.

"Because I observe a lot.  You and Amanda are right in the middle of it.  I get to watch her react more.  It's really not that difficult."  Niall shrugged.

Julie woke up with a start and sat up quickly.  Damn dreams.  This time it wasn't about Johnny though.  Her brain was stuck on the fact that Harry was going to break up with her to save her the trouble.  This was so complicated.  She had to share her fears in order for the therapy to work; but when she did, it hurt the one's she loved.  She rubbed her face.