Temptation 2: Promises

Ch. 43 The Premiere of Tired

"How could I forget? Your squeal still makes my heart flutter." I answered.

She didn't smile. She bit the inside of her cheek enough for me to notice the skin go in. She fumbling with the pendant around her neck.

"Remember how I was also really tired because I had just gotten back from shooting Descendant 2 with Dove and them?" She murmurs.

I don't like where this is going. She looks exhausted. I walked over to her and made her look at me. Her eyes are sunken in. Darker brown than usual. The whites red.

"Rowan, what's wrong?" I ask.

"I'm tired of fighting, Corey." She whispers.

Her breath smells rancid but I literally could not care any less than I do. I'm too worried.

"We don't fight...do we?" I ask.

I made a fist with my hand, praying I didn't go ballistic and forgot it or something. Rowan shakes her head.

"We don't. I'm tired of fighting the cancer, Corey."

I let that sink in. Then I shake my head, repeating "no" and Rowan caresses my cheek. I immediately feel a swell of emotions.

"No, no, no, no, no--" I repeated it over and over again while Rowan 'shhh'-ed me and held my cheek.

"I'm tired, Corey. I'm empty. I'm losing motivation. The kids and you mean the world to me but Corey my chest feels like it's going to explode and I don't know why. My lungs burn and I can't breathe. The pills only make my head foggy. I can't breastfeed anymore, for whatever reason it's not working. I'm so tired, Corey." Rowan whispered.

"I won't let you. You can't go. We'll go back to the hospital and--"

"Put me on more drugs? Make the unavoidable last longer? Corey, it's time we face it." She breathes.

I allow my eyes to well up when by now tears are threatening to spill out of her eyes too. One falls and I wipe it from her cheek immediately.

"I'm trying so hard, Corey. You have no idea how much I just make up work for myself to give my body something else to do other than shut down but I can't be superwoman." She sniffs.

I hear Cowan calling my name. It fades away with the sound of my heart pounding in my chest. Memories of times Rowan and I have shared together making it harder to steal up like I always do. To not cry even if at heart I'm so sensitive I'd cry at Frozen.

"Then I'll be superman! I'll be Zeus! I'll take the kids where they need to go and cook and clean, Rowan we can afford maids and cooks and servants. We can work out a schedule, three kids at a family member's house while two are with us and switch out." I tried desperately.

"Corey, I can't put you or the kids through that." She whispered.

"And I'm supposed to sit back and watch you die?! Watch the love of my life die? A-And then be left with a surely broken Sab and Sarah and Dove and Carmen and Jack and Peyton and every other person you've ever looked at? Because that's just how much you can make people love you! And with everyone depressed I'll have no help with five kids. I make money Rowan but my looks will fade, my acting skills will dull and soon I'll have to get a normal job. I can't feed six children by myself on the cashier line at Walmart. I can't sleep in a king size without you. I wouldn't ever be able to look at Belle or Cj or Hunter because of how much they look like you. Is that what you want? Me to let you die and then watch our kids starve to death?" I asked.