Howler

Chapter XLIX

First week;

Cried until there was nothing else in me but sadness, regret and anger.

Second week;

My brothers clutched me while my mother didn't leave her room, not even to be with us.

Third week;

Throwing things. Smashing them so they broke and shattered. Plates and cups and pillows. Anything I could get my hands on I threw in pure, unrestrained anger.

I wanted that's wolves blood and I wanted to hear his screams and pleases for my mercy.

Fourth week;

I just wanted my father.... and in that fourth week the one set for my fathers funeral was the day we all Howler for our fallen king.

The funeral was a procession of dark colours of wolves from the neighbouring packs, everyone had come to pay their respect and even Harry and his parents made an appearance to pay their respects. But they didn't stay the whole time.

"Abigail you have to speak now..." Ric said and I realised he was talking about the eulogy which I couldn't get through without crying.

Taking a deep breath I walked up to the podium that had been set up and placed the piece of paper stained with the black ink that would be the words to remember my father by.

"Packs of South Dakota I think you for being here today to witness the inal goodbyes of my father: Chase Maxwell Gilbert. He was a good king, a amazing father and made my mother happy also by being her husband and mate. My father taught me everything I would need to know to rule this pack and to be rightful of my title."

I started to choke on tears but I swallowed them down and kept going.

"My favourite memory of my father is when I was seven. We went to the forest and he taught me how to hunt in human form and told me that being strong in your human form is just as important as being strong in your wolf form. We spent the afternoon eating and it was also then that he gave me my first swig of whiskey." I smiled while the tears prickled my eyes.

"To me he wasn't just a king or my father, he was my hero and he was one of the two people that made me who I am and for that I love him and I miss him so much....thank you all so much for being here" I stepped down from the podium and I used every ounce of my strength to walk into the crowd as the funeral came to a somber conclusion.

We all gathered into the pack house after and I didn't get off the lounge as I greeted people and they gave me condolences. Ric sat on my right and Mal next to him. Harry on my other side his hand lace within mine.

I was squeezing it so hard I could see it turn white but he didn't complain or grimace he just let me.

We all trudged home and we all just wanted to sleep and cry and perhaps ever come out of our house again. "Can you stay?" I asked Harry as he turned to leave. I didn't want to be alone and I also didn't want to have another person leave, whether they were coming back or not.

We both walked upstairs in silence and he lay down on the bed as he removed his suit jacket and tie and I threw him a pair of sweatpants he usually left here. I walked into my bathroom and took off my dress and pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. All in black because I didn't feel like wearing colour.

"Just lie with me" I told Harry as I nestled into him as his arms wrapped around me. He didn't say anything which I appreciated, I didn't want to be consoled I judged wanted my mate close to me to remind he was there.

The night was filled with a restless sleep and sometimes I'd wake up in the middle of the night in a sweat sometimes Harry woke to soothe me other times he kept sleeping but his grip always tightened around me like he knew I needed that small type of comfort.

The next morning when we all woke up again, my brothers walked into my room and their eyes were glistening with tears and tears stained th eir cheeks as they dragged me into the bathroom. At the sight I fell to my knees because their was my mother, wrists tattooed in red and life all gone.

I couldn't live without him, I'm sorry my pups.

Was written on a note next to the bathtub.

Not all mates did this, some wolves went on to marry wolves who's mate who also died but their were few who's bond was so great that every day living without each other was like a knife to the heart.

My knees buckled bellow me and I wept for the parents I had lost.

My father was fresh in the ground and now my mother would be there tomorrow.

What did my family do to deserve this?