The Beast

Chapter 45

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry. I'm sorry Xavier, that bullet was meant for me. I wish it were me in your place. I wish I'd given you the chance to explain. I wish I'd listened to my heart, it swore you had a good reason but I believed what I'd seen." Inhaling deeply I look at his still form, large build completely still under the blanket. His broad shoulders and chest exposed, due to his naturally heated temperature the doctor still wouldn't let us put a shirt on him. My fingers twitched to reach out to him and push back the dark silky strands fallen on his forehead but I refrain.

"I want you to know that I'm sorry for hurting you, I'm sorry for not listening, and that if you'll still explain I'll listen. I'll listen to anything and everything you have to say but it's understandable if you no longer wish to, you did get shot because of me. That bullet was meant for me and I wish everyday it'd met its true mark." My breath hitched on those words, it was baffling to think I could love someone so much, enough to truly mean that I would rather take a bullet than see them get hit.

My heart won't let me leave you, neither will your men but that's besides the point. I don't know when my deep rooted fear for you turned into something so very different but I don't regret it. Being with you was the greatest time of my life. You made me feel inexplicable things, you made me yours, completely and now I don't want to leave. If that's what you want I'll go, but I don't want to leave you Xavier, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to lose the way you make me feel, what we have, I didn't think was humanly possible. I don't know when and I don't know how but somehow my heart became yours. I love you. I've never loved anyone the way that I love you, I don't think think I ever will. Xavier Night I am completely and unconditionally in love with you." I open my mouth to continue but the deeply familiar voice that resounds in the otherwise silent room has me completely frozen. That deep husky yet somehow smooth manly voice that I'd missed so much these past weeks, that it brought tears to my eyes that fell down my cheeks before I could even try to stop them.

"Raine." Xavier said gently his voice only very slightly hoarse, but still forming this heart wrenching caress around my name that had my heartbeat completely halting in my chest before it picked up with a fervour that nearly frightened me.

He was awake, my Xavier was awake. I was afraid to look, terrified that it was all part of my imagination, that I'd only imagined his voice and instead of his stormy gaze stopping my very breath, I'd be met with disappointment. But how could Xavier ever disappoint.

I looked up slowly, hesitantly my breath catching in my throat as my watery eyes met with bright melting silver ones encased in thick black lashes. A sweet storm brewing within them, so many emotions stirring inside them at once I could barely keep up. Love being the most dominant, but regret, adoration, guilt, admiration, he was made of opposites but that's what made him whole.

"Xavier." I breathed and he hesitantly opened up his arms, his silver eyes silently pleading for me to go to him, and a deep sob escaped my throat as I threw myself out of the chair and onto him.

Wrapping my arms tightly around him, I peppered kisses all over the skin I could reach, mumbling how sorry I was and how much I loved him. His arms wound tightly around my waist hugging me to him tightly, his strength surprising considering his current state. The warmth I'd missed so much, burning into my skin through my sweater. He patted my hair softly, running his hand down the length of it as he gently shushed me.

"It's okay baby, I'm okay, you're okay, we're both fine my love, don't cry." He cooed to me softly but it had the opposite affect. Another loud sob escaped me at his words, even after waking up from a coma he was comforting me, his hands patting me down to make sure I was alright.

"You're comforting me, you get shot because of me, were in a coma for weeks because of me yet you're worried about me. I don't deserve that Xavier, how can somebody even possibly love another so much." I sob out clinging to him and he cups my face gently, raising my head so I'm looking at him.