Chapter 19

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Xavier's POV
My heart clenched painfully in my chest as the girl who had become my world flinched away from me, as if I was the most horrifying of creatures, but perhaps I was.

I didn't deserve her, I had always known that, but the last thing I wanted was her afraid of me. I thought we had gotten passed this, but it was my fault, she was perceptive, highly so. She could tell I was not to be trusted, I was a monster, but one who would devote himself to her. Was it so wrong to fall in love with the darkness, it could protect you so much better than the light, hide you completely.

Raine stared down at the floor fidgeting nervously, one of the many adorable habits of her I would miss. She wouldn't even look up to meet my eyes. It was cause I cared for her that I would have to stay away from her, from now on Raine would never see me again. Never would I see her again either, she deserved her privacy. I had other ways to check in on her, make sure she was doing alright, and I would use them. If she didn't consider me worthy of being in her life, then I wouldn't be, it was the truth, I wasn't worthy of her. A part of me, the better part that only seemed to awaken near her, was glad she had made the right choice. But it didn't hurt any less.

I would always watch over my angel, from a distance, check in on her regularly keep her and her loved ones safe, even the bastard she would eventually fall for.

I stepped away from Raine, saying my final goodbye to the light of my life.
"Take care amica mea." And I walked away, I would never bother her again. She didn't have to be frightened any longer, I was going to leave her alone.

I made my way to my car, fighting the urge to look back at her. Fighting the urge to turn back, to fall at her feet and beg. Despite how much I craved for a place in her life, to be near her untainted innocence, I couldn't. I made her uncomfortable, frightened her.

It had never mattered to me what people thought of me, I knew what they said about me in town, but I didn't care. I'd been taught from a young age that people were bad, they had darkness within them, only capable of hurting others, but it was only in Raine that I saw something different. She was good, innocent, she didn't have that darkness. She had a light within her, one I was hopelessly attracted to, a moth to a flame, darkness to light. But I had a reputation, and for once it mattered, what she thought mattered. The reputation I had earned over the years was only one of the barriers between us. It was unrealistic for a beast like me to ever earn the affections of an innocent beauty like her.

I started the car, driving away from the only person I cared about. My heart clenched painfully in my chest, I had never had this feeling in years, the pain that came along with caring for someone. My chest was constructing, it felt as if I couldn't breathe. Not without her, not without the hope of seeing her again.

But even with the pain I couldn't bring myself to regret knowing her, the few moments I spent with her, were the most beautiful moments of my life. I was lucky to even have those with her. I was lucky to hear the few words that she spoke to me, to receive those few glances from those beautiful eyes.

For many years I had spent my life simply surviving, but she was like a breath of life in me. Since I had seen her it felt like I had started living again, like my cold heart had started to beat again. She was the base of my existence, but she would never get the chance to know that. I would never see her again, I would never get to see the lovely blush on her cheeks, I would never get to see her beautiful chocolate coloured eyes, that shined with a light so bright, the first time I had seen them I had felt as if I had seen the light for the first time in years. I would never be close to her again, I would never be able to bask in her sweet scent, never feel her soft satiny skin against mine.

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