Janthony One-Shot Book

Holding Onto Hope

prompt: Jas thinks she can't get pregnant and tells ant and he's a little sad, but then she gets pregnant

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"It's negative again," Jasmine huffed, throwing yet another pregnancy test away.

Jasmine and Anthony wanted kids more than anything. They knew they were ready for kids once they hit two years as a married couple. They always loved kids, making time to watch their best friends children whenever they were able to.

Jasmine thought trying for kids would be easy and it would happen on the first try but she was more than wrong.

The first negative test didn't cause them to worry, but the fifth one did. They had been trying for a few months by then but everything was coming back negative and Jasmine was terrified that something was wrong with her.

She constantly beat herself up over it and all Anthony could do was be by her side and tell her it wasn't her fault.

He was sad too. He loved kids and he always had so the thought of not being able to have his own kid terrified him. Yeah, adoption works but he was scared that maybe the kid wouldn't love them once they found out they were adopted. Surrogacy works too, but that takes lots of time and money, and needles. They just wanted to have a little baby to cuddle and love but that wasn't going well.

When Jasmine got to the seventh negative test she started to worry more than ever and Anthony could tell she was terrified.

"Is everything alright?" Anthony's voice scared her, causing her to jump up.

"Mm yeah.." Jasmine murmured, her mind running wild with thoughts and possibilities.

"You're being really jumpy baby. Are you sure you're okay? What's on your mind?" Anthony gently placed a hand onto his wife's knee and pulled her into his arms.

"What if I'm broken?" Jasmine asked after a moment of comfortable silence.

"What are you on about Jas..?" Anthony asked, a bit concerned at the way his wife was asking.

"What if I'm broken?" Jasmine repeated, "What if I cant have kids? What if there's something wrong with me?" She could feel the hot tears burning in her eyes and she didn't know why.

"Babe there's nothing wrong with you.. Some people have a hard time getting pregnant but they doesn't mean you're broken. You're no where near broken. So what if we can't have our own kid? I know it'll be terrible but there's other ways," Anthony tried to reason to his wife.

"It's not the same Anthony!" Jasmine snapped, sending the room into silence.

"It's not the same," She repeated as she let her tears fall, "I want my own kid. What if we adopt and the kid hates us or the parents try to win them back? What if we get attached to this little grain of hope and it's taken away from us? Do you know how excited I got when one of those tests said positive? But then when we went to the doctor and they said I wasn't pregnant? I'm not ready for that letdown again. I don't want to do this right now.. W-we need to stop trying for now..if I have anymore false hope thrown at me I think I may break," Jasmine admitted, the tearing running down her face as Anthony held her in his arms.

They didn't try for another few months. This time it wasn't even planned. The two had gotten drunk and well they're a married couple and it just kinda happened.

But then Jasmine felt sick nearly every morning. She would constantly rush to the bathroom to be sick, then the nausea came back in flashes during the day.

One day Anthony suggested that she take a test, noticing how she was acting and relating it back to how he knew lots of his friends wives were acting when they found out they were pregnant.

"I'm not taking one. This is nothing and I don't need another let down," Jasmine brushed off and pushed past him.

"Jazzy please..? For me?" Anthony pouted, gently grabbing his wife's arm which caused her to groan and glare at him.

"No," Jasmine decided.

Two weeks later she was going through one of the worst days of the month. The morning sickness was beating her up mentally and physically. She knew what was happening and had to take a test.

So when she wasn't throwing up, she snuck out of bed and walked to the little convince store near buy and bought a few tests, trying to ignore the nice old woman at the desk who wished her luck.

Once she got home she quickly took the test and waited for the results, well, hid behind the door as she was way too scared to look at the results.

When she finally got the courage to look she gasped and dropped her phone that had been in her hand.

"Jazzy?" Anthony murmured from their bedroom, "You okay?"

Jasmine nodded and threw the test away, a smile on her face as she walked back over to bed.

"I'm pregnant," She blurted out, forgetting her whole plan and idea she had.

"What? Oh my god. What? You're? There's a baby in there..?" Anthony gasped, putting a hand on his wife's stomach.

"Yeah there is." Jasmine giggled, pressing a kiss to her husbands lips.

Jasmine was terrified that she wouldn't ever have a child of her own but thank god her thoughts were proved wrong by the little girl who came into her life nine months later.