Dear Grayson | g.d

50

Unedited because I'm lazy :/ sorry for any misspellings

You can listen to the song above throughout the chapter if you'd like :)

I hesitated knocking on the large ancient like door. The Dolan house hold was about 10x larger than Ben's. It felt like the huge house was glaring down at me, & with the clouds that were appearing in the sky it looked just like a scene out of a scary movie. I turned back to Ben's car with panic written all over my face.

"You got this." He mouthed. I smiled, but the paranoia in my stomach didn't leave. I finally brought up enough courage to finally knock on the door. I clenched the already foiled letter in my hand. I was always the type of person who was better at expressing their feelings on paper, always. All of my feelings were written on this one piece of paper. I wasn't too concerned about Elle being here since she was off wedding dress shopping.

Why do I feel like such a home wrecker right now?

Ruining Grayson's engagement weren't my intentions, I'm actually not quite sure what my intentions are at all. I knew I was being selfish, but he needed to know every single thing that I feel about him. When the door opened I was relieved to see a maid rather than the beast himself.

"Puis-je vous aider?" I was thankful for my freshman year of high school when I took French right about now. Although my French was rusty, I was still able to understand. I tried speaking in English, which thankfully she understood.

"I'm here to see Grayson." She gave me a look over of my body; not in a judging manner, just a suspicious one.

"I'm an old friend of his, my names Linoy." Realization set on her face, & she allowed me to come in. She began to make her way towards the stairs when she turned back at me & said it was alright for me to go up. I thanked her until I realized that I had no idea where his room was, but before I could ask which one it was, she was already gone. Guess I'm going to have to play the guessing game.

The first few rooms were all offices, nothing that screamed Grayson.

But you don't even really know him Linoy.

My thoughts were interrupted when I stumbled on a room that screamed teenage bit more than anything. There were clothes all over the place, and more distinctly, there was a picture of Elle & Grayson sitting on a night stand. My curiosity got the best of me & I began to walk over to it. I picked it up gently, only for me to break it into a thousand small pieces. Glass scattered the floors & I cringed at the loud noise it made. As I'm picking up the pieces of glass, I notice a photo that sat underneath. As I shoved the picture of Grayson & Elle out of the way, my heart fluttered like a teenager in love.

It was the picture Grayson took of us when he came to visit for Christmas. I've never smiled the same way as I did on that day. Grayson looked so different compared to how he looks now, he was so full of youth & had a healthy glow, now all that was left was a grey that licked every inch of his skin. I didn't realize I was smiling, or how my heart was fluttering, or how the butterflies in my stomach had returned.

God I am so in love with him.

I never even realized just how much I was in love with him until I saw this picture.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" My head whipped around faster than a whippet. Grayson's eyes were laced with pure anger.

"I uh-" he stopped me before I could ramble when he walked over to me & snatched the frame out of my hands.

"How did you even get in here? What are you stalking me now?"

"No I just wanted to talk."

"Jesus Christ didn't we go over this already! I don't want you in my life. Why are you making this so hard for yourself?" He wasn't looking at me as he was talking, he kept his eyes on the picture of us, almost as if he was talking to the happy guy in the picture, wondering what happened to him."

"Can you please just look at me." I mentally cursed at myself when my voice cracked. Grayson caught on to it & I could have sworn I saw something human in him. Sadness. He was quick to cover it up & went back to him emotionless expression.

"If you don't leave I will call the police." I began to grab my note from our it my back pocket. It broke my heart to see such a wonderful person turn into the creature that his father wanted him to be. He wasn't human anymore, but I was going to try my damn hardest to bring that back. Before I could stop myself, the three words I've been wanting to say slipped out.

"I love you, Grayson." The room fell silent, not, even Grayson's harsh breathing to be heard. His entire stature changed, he went from slacked to rigid, his face changed to one of conflict. It made me regret ever saying anything, ever even coming here.

The silence was becoming too suffocating so I broke through it, "Say something." His face returned to its expressionless state & his body became slacker again.

"What do you want me to say? Huh? I'm engaged Linoy. There is nothing left to say." I hated how needy & selfish I was being, it was out of my character that I felt like I was being over taken by some foreign object. Love. I was being over taken by love, my need to have him understand. This isn't the type of love that I want him to be with me & only me, but rather the kind of love where I just want him to be happy, with or without me. Which is why I need to start reading this letter before I back out entirely.

"Dear Grayson,

I lied when i said I was getting better. I lied to everyone because even though I wasn't fixated on my weight anymore, I became completely, & utterly, lost without you. You give me a happiness that I haven't felt in so long, & than you just disappeared from my life. Where were you? Why didn't you call? You were supposed to be my best friend & I realize that I was the one who pushed you away but the truth is I needed you, I need you," once my voice began to crack, Grayson angrily went to the bathroom & shut the door, but I didn't stop.

"My goal isn't to ruin your engagement, to be honest I'm not even sure what my goal is. The closest thing I can think of is wanting you to know that you are loved. It's hard to be loved in your word, but I want you to know that you are loved, completely." I didn't hear any signs of movement on the other side of the door, & I took that as my cue to leave. I got out all that I needed to, there was no reason for me to stay here. Just as I was about to walk away, the lock on the bathroom door switched, & the door opened.

My back was still facing him, too scared to see the expression on his face, until his words calmed all of my paranoid thoughts.

"I love you too."