The Dirty Angels MC

21

-I'm gonna go have a smoke outside.-I told the boys.

-Why won't you smoke here?-Snake looked at me confused.

-Because I don't like smoking around Quintin knowing he doesn't smoke!

-You never seemed to care until now though...-He got even more confused and intrigued. Quintin looked over his shoulder, to where Ace was sitting and then looked back at me, with a grin in his face.

-I'll go with you, Kat... Since she's the only one who still respects me!-He said playfully but kind of serious.

-What the fuck? Just smoke there and shut it!-Richard finally intervened. He was already near being drunk.

-Dad, I'm going outside. Taco Bells will be with me to assure you I don't do anything crazy.-I got up and went. Quintin stood by my side until the backdoors and then stopped in front of me, blocking my way.

-We need to talk, Katniss...-He sighted and looked me in the eyes.

-What's up?

-I'm starting to realize what is going on...-He was way too serious which made me laugh because I thought he was still talking about Jax.-I mean it, girl... I'm talking about you and Ace...-I got serious right away.

-What about it?-I almost growled.

-Look...-He sighted.-I know right now you think Ace is the right type of man for you. I mean, he has that bad boy attitude and the "rules don't apply to me" talk and for some reason all girls find it so attractive and such a turn on... But like I said all girls... You see where I'm getting to?

-Not really, Juanito!-I answered aggressively.

-Fuck my life... What I'm saying is that he never had the same bitch for more than like a week! Do you get it now?-I smiled and looked up, like I was bored.-All I'm telling you is don't get your hopes too high because the higher the climb, the bigger the fall.

-What if I'm the one who's gonna change him?

-Darling, do you even imagine how many girls have told me the same thing?-He was staring me deep inside my eyes and I just knew he was being as honest as possible.-Do you see any of those girls by his side? All he has is exes. And that's all he'll ever have. Be careful, Kat... Be fucking careful 'cause I do really care about you! Don't get too close 'cause he'll score and run...

-Alright, Quintin... Whatever...

-Don't do it, Kat. Come back to the table with me... I'll never let anyone know. The more you dive, the deeper the pain. Just come back with me. Forget about him! He ain't half of the man you deserve! C'mon...-I looked at him, smiled a bit and walked pass him. He sighted.-I'll be here when you come back.-He leaned against the wall. I opened the backdoor.

I looked around for Ace but I couldn't find him. I sighted and stepped to the side, having a smoke. When the door closed, I almost had a heart attack! Ace was right there. That's why I didn't see him in first place.

-Dammit!-I said as I jumped. He was standing with his foot against the wall, blowing the smoke slowly. He then looked at me and ignored me. I didn't know what to do.

Deep inside, I knew Quintin was right. Ace was just a fuckboy and I knew it... But I also knew something about him was like a tornado, pulling me to him and I just couldn't escape. I still don't know what love is but I guess I did feel it when it came to him. It didn't bother me when he was speaking with me. It did bother me when we were talking without words. There was something about his silence that his mouth just couldn't spell. That's what I loved the most about him. He was never the kind of guy to write in the lines. He was never the kind of guy to write at all! But I felt like I could read all the words he never wrote outside the lines. When he was staring at me, silently observing, I felt like there was nobody else in the room... Just me and him reading each other's unwritten story, living what we couldn't afford to live anymore. Does it make sense? Hell... We never made sense at all!

When his stare was lying upon me, following me as I dragged myself across the room, I felt like an open book. I never wanted him to know more about me than what I wanted him to know but he wasn't a regular reader. He could read the invisible ink on the blank pages of my heart, and more... He had a black pen, rewriting every chapter, slowly copying my own writing with a firme, cold hand, leaving my heart sore and weak. When he was done reminding me of everything I wanted to forget, he wrote with his special invisible ink on the rest of the pages and all of a sudden, all I wanted to always remember was only visible when his light was above me.

I was scared to death, man! It was always me and myself. My heart, my book, my choices, my pain! But out of the blue, this boy comes, reads all I've always kept hidden and then writes himself on my heart?! I was terrified! I didn't know what to do, what to say, how to act around him! I felt like an actress in my own life! And even worse, an actress without the fucking script! What the fuck was I supposed to do?! I could only see when he was around me... So I did what all of us would do. I kept him close. Close enough to be able to read the lines immediately after but always far enough to be able to run in case things went south.

I guess the problem between me and him was always fear. Both of us wanted to let people know we were strong and fearless. We were leaders, after all! Leaders don't cry. They don't fear. They don't love... But we did. We cried. We feared. We loved... And we loved hard! So hard it was killing us! But it was only killing us because we were suffocating it! We didn't want to feel it. Love leads to weakness. Both of us knew the moment we allowed ourselves to love the other, it would put a target on our Aquiles' heel: each other. So we hid it away. Hell, we starved it! But deep down, we were only starving ourselves because when you get such a connection with someone... Man, there's just no way out.