Innocent Torture

13|escape [I]

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Suicide had always been a thought on my mind, but never an act I could fully go through with.

I've never cut, or tried to hang myself because I thought it would be too painful for me. I've tried pills, but immediately I spit them right back out as my gag reflex was pretty limited.

And I was always afraid of the inevitable thought of not being 'successful' and ending up being in a worse predicament, than I was before.

But as I sat in the shower, watching the blood flow from my cut up hands and legs, I wondered what it would be like to just be asleep for a while. Not having to worry about the next moment of pain I'd have to endure, or even how I could try to avoid it.

Eventually I got out of the shower and bandaged up my hands, and wrapped up my legs also. The scratches would heal, but I knew it would be a memory I wouldn't be able to keep away for long.

I avoided the messy bed, wanting to burn the sheets along with the images that stuck in my mind.

He had done this. Gale. And for the first time in forever, I was angry.

But I knew I couldn't do anything. I couldn't fight back.

I made a small palette in front of my bedroom door, and lay on it. My hands under my head as I tried to even out my breathing, but my breaths did a turn and ended up coming out ragged as a sob left my system.

I couldn't stop the tears as I thought about everything. From the time Jackson held me and told me to find my peace, and how safe I felt in his arms. To the taint I now have on my skin and soul.

I let the tears fall, muffling my cries in the pillow I lay on. It was hours later that I finally was silent, and I heard nothing but silence around me. I knew the sun would be coming up soon, and school would be back in session from the weekend.

I didn't want to go, as I was afraid of seeing Jackson there. But I practically had no choice between staying here and going to school. I couldn't be in this room all day, I'd go even crazier than I was at the moment.

Just as I got up to get ready, I remembered what Gale said about me staying in this room. Did that mean I couldn't go to school?

Quickly I began to panic at the thought of being trapped in here. And memories of when I was a young girl come back to me as I remember the years I stayed at this house, because I wasn't enrolled in a school.

And just as I began to pull at my hair, the doorbell rang, and a familiar voice was heard.

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J A C K S O N

After what Paris explained to me, I knew Ebony was in more danger than she was before.

Paris had told me that she worked for a man a couple years ago, around the time I first met her, and that he made her do things for money. One of those things included pleasing men.

And that man that made her do these things, just so happened to be the man that 'cared' for Ebony. But behind closed doors, most likely does unimaginable things I'd be willing to end his life for.