Tais-Toi

Chapter Twenty-Five

I really want those lessons. I really do. So, I decide to take the bull by the horns and go to my dad to have a decent talk with him. I'm still terrified. He probably already knows he can expect it sooner or later. And I know exactly how I will do it. Firstly, I go to the kitchen and take two mugs off the top shelf and make some hot chocolate.

Knocking on his office's door isn't easy with a mug in each hand and opening the door is even worse. My hip is the best tool when I have to push the door open. The moment he sees who's coming in, his facial expression changes immediately. The moment he has feared for so long is suddenly there. I come closer and give him one of the mugs.

Working? On Christmas day? Didn't expect that.

"Could we please skip the part where you pretend you don't know anything?"

Okay. I nod. I wanted to talk to you. I don't want to yell at you. The same goes for you, agreed?

"Fine. Since when have you known?" He cuts straight to the point. I blink with my eyes a couple of times because he assumes I have known it for quite some time. I have the feeling I almost drown in his question.

Yesterday. I woke up and I heard you and Heather talking. When Heather asked you what you desired the most, you answered that you wished you were my real father. After that, it wasn't difficult to put the whole puzzle together.

"So, you overheard us?"

Actually, no. I just took the moment to listen what you were talking about. I didn't do it on purpose. He sighs because he realises it isn't my fault.

"I did mean to tell you one day, you know. Your mother made me promise that I would tell you when you turned 18. I just didn't want to lose you... I did it to protect you." I smile and look at the ground.

That's so cliché. The 'I did it to protect you'-bullshit. I just wanted to know the truth for once. These past months, secrets revealed themselves. One after another. So fast that I couldn't even keep up anymore. Every new secret caused my wold to fall down. I built it up and yet another secret throws it down again. So please, dad, tell me the whole story. Not the story of how you met mom. I want my story.

"Are you sure?" Hope. I feel hope.

Yes, dad. I am.

"After your mother came back from protecting that boyband-"

One Direction. I interrupt him and he nods.

"So after she came back in July of 2014, she tried to pick up her life as she had left it. She moved back into her old flat, tried to take her job back, contacted her old friends and family – including me... It wasn't difficult for us to pick our friendship back up because we were practically best friends when she left. And we also held little contact while she was touring around with One Direction. She called me regularly. So everything was going as good as possible after being away for almost a year. When she came back, she told me she had broken up her relationship with someone she had met over there. Strangely, a week after she came back, we started dating. It was a young relationship and we didn't know what to expect." It's weird to hear my dad talking about his love life. It's pretty awkward. "But her pregnancy was like a bomb exploding in both our faces. Neither one of us expected it. Of course, the big question was: who's the father? At first I thought it was me, the logical explanation. But after counting back, I knew it couldn't have been me."

Then who was it?

"The guy she had a relationship with over there, I presume." He tells me like I'm stupid. Of course I know it would be that guy, but I want a name. I settle my hands on my hips. "I never knew."