Adore

Chapter 6

"Okay, so tell me again. What happened?" Eleanor asked me, sitting back down on my spare bed.

I sighed and explained the story. I told her about how I was finally able to admit to myself and Niall that maybe I was jealous and maybe I do have feelings for him. Then I added his remark about having Erin and her face seemed to lose color, just like I felt mine had when he told me.

"I didn't think him and Erin were that big of an item," she said a bit quietly.

"It doesn't matter anyways. I tried to do what everyone's been hounding me to do and I get hurt. This is why I don't do this," I state to her. My voice came out harsh and rough but I couldn't control it. "I am absolutely pathetic, Eleanor," I took a seat next to her. Actually, it was more like a belly flop on the bed but the point is I'm now next to her.

"You're not pathetic," she tried to reassure me. "You're just learning. You're trying something new. It's like riding a bike; you crash and burn but you can't beat up on yourself for it. You have to get back up and try again."

"Yes, I can and no way on earth am I trying this again," I shout into the bed covers. "I'm going to go to sleep and never wake up ever again so I don't have to face the humiliation I created tomorrow in psychology," I state without much thought. "Shit! I have to see him in psychology tomorrow!"

"Don't sit next to him," she shrugs.

"He sits next to me. First day of class and he plopped right down by me."

"Doesn't mean you can't switch seats."

"I have a perfect seat though!" I whine.

I feel her weight leave the bed and I adjust so I'm sitting on the bed properly. "Get some rest. You sound like you have a lot going on in your brain."

She closes the door behind her. She was right, I did have a lot going on in my head. I still can't get over what happened and Niall still sits his little bum on a metaphorical bench in my mind. Goodness, as much as I want to sleep, the mix of emotions I'm feeling won't let me. I slide off the bed and grab by soccer ball by the door. I walk out of my room and out of the house, making my way over to the racquet ball courts not too far from here. I need to release this and take it all out. Maybe I'll be better by the morning. Hopefully.

++++++++++

I sat down in my usual seat and my psychology class and await for Professor Snyder to make her appearance. I'm here awfully early but I wasn't going to sit around all day counting minutes. Niall takes his usual spot next to me. I can see him look at me out of the corner of my eye so I turn to him and smile. That's how things go for the next couple weeks. He comes in, sits next to me, we share a smile then ignore each other for the rest of class. I continued to go about my normal weekly schedule: school then soccer practice, volleyball, school then volleyball, school then soccer again, one day to myself, and lastly, any games, matches or parties I needed to/wanted to attend.

I didn't focus on "boy of the night" anymore. I'd just hang out with Mary and Troy and drink away the fact that Niall could walk through the door with Erin at any moment. Every minute I even began to think about Niall, I mentally killed myself. I can't get him out of my head even though we aren't talking. His friendly gesture of a smile was just enough to keep him on my mind. Kicking the ball after soccer practices while I wait for all the girls to be picked up even brought back the vague memory of him.

It was like this for three solid weeks.

On the first day of the fourth week, Mary and I were going to a kick back at the frat house. It was Brett's going away party and he clearly stated that he didn't want an over the top party. He just wanted to spend sometimes with friends before he set off to start his life. I know, it's probably really weird to think that he went to college for a month and now he's leaving, but he was offered a job in his degree area and they offered to pay off the rest of his time in school.