𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 || 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐊𝐍𝐃 𝐗 𝐒𝐙𝐀

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗽𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝟯

Raegan's POV

I can't believe this guy Abel did that to Lamar.

I can't believe I let him kiss me and liked it so much.

I kissed him back and moaned in his mouth, the man is a great kisser....but I feel so embarrassed.

This guy really stepped over some boundaries.

Lamar used to always brag about his best friend Abel so I already knew a little bit about him before we even met.

I felt hurt that Lamar never mentioned me to Abel because when I walked into the studio he did not look so amused when he saw me.

Like I didn't belong there? I just assumed Lamar told his boys about me. I really thought Abel disliked me when I first walked through the door, until that random kiss happened.

The guy is so mysterious it's scary you can never tell what he's thinking...his eyes look so dead inside.

I don't really know this guy personally and neither his crew, but Lamar and I have been friends for over 2 years.

The life they lived was totally different from what I was used to. I just don't understand what was the point in Lamar bringing me around his xo crew knowing there could possibly be some problems.

Never knew it would be this bad...

When I used to visit my family in Toronto, I would see Abel a couple of times. This was before Lamar and I became friends in LA.

Abel used to have club appearances to promote his music, but I don't think we've never made eye contact with one another.

That was a long time ago before he became more popular and known in the music industry.

I used to come out here from time to time to meet my family but they ended up moving to the US, so I haven't been out here in years.

I liked Abel's music but wasn't a huge fan...only when I was in the mood to listen to his angelic voice. In person he is kind of cute and he actually looks innocent...but now I realized that looks can be deceiving.

I'm not the type of girl who's a pass around to their "homeboys" that's not how I roll. Lamar shouldn't have brought me anywhere near his crew.

If he had just mentioned me as his close friends, Abel would know I wasn't that type of girl.

I'm very shy, has anxiety, but can be outspoken when someone tries to play on my head top.

I have a problem with guys just randomly kissing me. It was just weird that he would do something like that and he doesn't even know me.

Abel says I was the "problem"? Tuh...Lamar has a fight with one of his crew members Cash and now his best friend Abel kisses me out of the blue like a fucking sex crazed maniac.

Lamar just knows that I won't ever come back here to Canada after this charade. I thought it would be safe to meet his friends and all, but now I'm regretting every second of it.

The whole xo crew had some problems they need to deal with.

I just had to walk away from the situation. I needed to clear my head, so I have been walking for a while in this big city with no care in the world.

I decided to find a hotel room of my own and get ready to fly back to California as early as I can tomorrow morning.

Lamar will just have to be disappointed. He actuality he does have deep feelings about me but I don't feel the same.

There was a time when we almost had sex. I was going through a break up. So that night I was feeling very vulnerable and drunk.

I felt relieved that nothing further happened or I really would've regretted it and broke all ties with Lamar.

I quickly realized that he was my friend and I didn't want to lead him on like that. I don't like playing with someone's emotions that's just not the kind of person that I am.

Lamar needs to realize that he's just a friend that I could depend on at a time of need. I don't think I could ever see us more than just friends.

He begged me to come see his best friends, and it felt like the perfect time because I was already on vacation leave from work, but now it's ruined.

I hate that I'm dealing with his best-friend/boss kissing me out of nowhere within hours of meeting each other.

I mean Lamar shouldn't be pissed at me...I'm the victim here, but I did like the kiss and I think he's just a little jealous.

I suddenly get out of my train of thoughts and I  find a bench to sit on.

A feeling of relief takes over me because my feet were killing me. I think I walked a whole mile or so from the studio.

Lamar did come running after me but he just gave up because I was already out of his sight when he ran out of the studio.

Theres people walking around, so that was a good thing. It was a pretty city and it looked very clean.

I shiver and sigh as I reach my hands inside my coat and put on my gloves.

I did this to myself, I should've let Lamar take me back to the Hotel...but I felt so embarrassed so I couldn't face him.

I decide to call Lamar again while I leave him a voice message as it went straight to voice-mail.

Damn it Lamar where are you?