1426words.
Genre: angst
Warnings: feels, domestic abuse (it's Melanie Martinez and me it is definitely going to either make you cry, give you so many feels, or both)
Song: Teddy Bear - Melanie Martinez (lyrics in normal font)
~~~
Stitched you up, put you together
With cotton and feather
Gave you love, put my heart inside you
Your ex-girlfriend broke up with you and to say the bare minimum - you were destroyed. I drove over to your home to see you on the floor, surrounded by broken, empty bottles of alcohol by your feet and large, horrifying holes in the wall across the room.
I fixed you. I made sure you stopped drinking for a while, and when I finally let you drink again I made sure you didn't drink heavily. You became more sweet and generous, completely different from your formerly broken and violent self.
I fell in love with you, and I believed you fell in love with me. The way you wrapped your arms around my waist, the small kisses you would leave on my forehead and neck, those moments were so loving and sweet.
How could I not fall in love with you?
Oh what could I do
When you started talking in your sleep
Saying things you'd do to me
Months into - this I would often wake in the middle of night. I would hear you mumble in your sleep, making coherent sentences that I couldn't help but listen to.
I remember most of them, it's not like someone would just forget being threatened by someone they love without the other person knowing.
'I'll fucking kill you, baby'
That seemed to be your favorite. It was a compliment and a threat at the same time. It was an 'I love you' and an 'I have no concern for your life' at the same time.
I didn't care
I wasn't scared
I smiled whenever you would threaten me in my sleep, not really acknowledging the death threat that was so evident in your words.
I just kept holding you when you woke up.
I just kept kissing the you I fell in love with.
Now I'm finding knives under the sheets
Crumbled photographs of me
I'm in despair
Should I be scared?
I was cleaning our room as usual, since I did anything you asked me to do, and that was mainly the house work.
I knew you had threatened me, but I had assumed it was just crazy dreams, maybe even thoughts of your psychotic ex-girlfriend, who I now admire for good reasoning and apparently judgement.
I found a knife, hidden between the mattress and the sheets. Underneath the knife was photographs of me, seemingly cut from larger photos.
The photos had been folded and crumpled, matching the folds of the sheets for easy hiding.
I put two and two together; I wasn't an idiot.
I only wondered if you would actually hurt me.
I thought you loved me.
I should've been scared.
