A Place In This World

Speak Now World Tour

"But no buts," I interrupt. "Josh. We both still have yet to peak in our music careers. We are a long way from being anything more than boyfriend and girlfriend. Don't sweat it."

"But, you love kids, and I, I don't know."

"Josh. No one is pressuring you to do anything. Slow down. You're jumping ahead of yourself." I reach up, and wrap my arms around his neck. "I like where we're at right now. No need to change anything. It's perfect."

"You're perfect," he sighs, embracing me tighter.

I put my arms up and formed a heart with my hands. I looked into the sea, as everyone put their hands up with mine, forming the precious heart. I wondered if Josh was doing the same?

Soon enough I had finished the song, and had moved onto 'The Story of Us'. More memories came as I remembered the nights Josh protected me from those dreadful dreams that involved John. How the hell was I going to sing 'Dear John' tonight?

Finally everyone had shuffled off stage, to change for the next number: 'Our Song'. Finally a song that didn't bring back memories.

I got into place and popped out of the stage. I trotted over to my banjo, picked it up and started playing it. When I was done my little medley, Caitlin's fiddle filled my ears.

I brought the sound of my banjo up and played with her. When we finished the medley, I waited for her notes to be played. When she played them, the rest of the band filled in. I heard the crowd erupt into screams as they recognized the song. Sadly the song finished too quickly, because it was time for more memories.

The next song we performed was 'Mean.' Memories filled as I remembered reading that nasty comment, and plopped down right in front of Josh, writing this song. I remembered us giggling the night away, at the cheesy remarks being made. Finally we finished and I rushed under the stage to get dressed for the next song: 'Back To December'.

I sat on the bench, in my two dresses. This next song was already sad enough to sing, without the pressure of having my ex in the crowd. Even if it wasn't about him. I felt the lift rise and I started to play.

As the song went on I felt my emotions rise in the pit of my stomach. I was not ready for the next portion of the concert, where I moved to my second stage. I would not be able to perform twenty feet away from Josh. At least during 'Better Then Revenge' I got lost in anger. An emotion that made performing so much easier.

I got ready for the 'Speak Now', and stood there waiting to run on stage. After this song, I would be on stage B. I dreaded that so much. I got my que, and ran on. The guitar strums notifying me to start singing.

"I am not the kind of girl, who should be rudely barging in on a white veil occasion..."

Soon, the dreaded moment came.

"Lets run away now!"

I did not hold my peace. I spoke now, and the dancer and I ran off into the crowd.

Tonight I hugged more people than usual. I didn't rush over to the next stage, I just got lost in the crowd. I could feel my emotions bubbling. I didn't know how I'd be able to do the next song with out crying. Unfortunately, I too soon found myself on the next stage, singing the last lines of the song. I soaked in the energy of the crowd. I was gonna need their help to continue tonight.

I started to softly strum the ukulele in my hands. I sighed. I was already misty eyed. I finished my monologue for 'Fearless', and started to sing.

"There's something bout the way, the street looks when it's just rained."

Suddenly, I was back in that parking lot.