A Place In This World

Haven't Had Enough

There is a faceless man, named Anorexia. He whispers in your ear, offering you gifts, promising you things.

Beauty, happiness, safety, comfort, love, control. He tells you what you want and need.

"You need to be delicate. Fragile. Tiny. Emaciated. Perfect. Nothing. To be safe. To be happy. Comfortable;secure. To be in control, all the time. To be powerful. To show your pain to the world. Whatever it is that you want;I can offer you all of this. I can offer you everything and anything. All you have to do, is take it."

He offers a beautiful, sweet, innocent flower;and you take it. In that moment, you loose all control. The journey of endless torture, isolation, desperation, misery, and self destruction, begins.

You give Anorexia your life. You let him swallow you whole, dragging you down the seemingly endless dark pit. He consumes you. You take everything for granted because its not you making those thoughts, its him. Its Anorexia controlling every single thought. He controls your actions. Laughs at you. Tortures you, inside and out. He puts a negative on everything, until you too, hate yourself. Hate every single thing about you.

All of this happens, because you let Anorexia take control of you with his iron grip.

You gave Anorexia your life.

- Part Three - 

Taylor's POV

July 20th 2011

I sat on the hard ground in the middle of the arena. We were going through rehearsals for the Speak Now World Tour. I heard footsteps thump behind me, and turned to see Josh heading my way.

"Hey," I called. "How's it looking?"

"The stage looks great," he replied. "I'm sure you have lots of surprises in store."

"Yeah, we're just kind of making it up as we go. I've spent a long time dreaming up things for the production."

Josh came and sat beside me. Ever since I got back from touring in Europe, we had remained friends, although not as close as we used to be. I would be lying if I said I was fine with it being like that. If anything, us being in a tense friendship made me feel more empty.

Apparently, Josh was fine. He was still energetic, and outgoing - he acted as if everything was fine. However, he didn't seem like his usual bubbly self today.

"Got something on your mind?" I asked.

"Just stressed," he sighed.

"About what? I thought your new single was doing great."

"Yeah, that's not the problem though. Or well, I suppose it is. We've been looking for a lead role for the music video. One that'll stay through it all. You know? And no one really pops out at me."

I didn't really know what was going on in my crazy mind, but I wanted to help him, in anyway possible.

"Well, I'm always here. If you need any help—"

The look on Josh's face made me trail off my thought. Lord only knows what goes on in his little pea brain.

"That's it!" He exclaimed.

"What's it?" I asked cautiously, already having an idea of the answer.

"You can be the lead role! Would you mind?"

I should've said no. I should've walked away—but I didn't, and made the biggest mistake of my life.

"Yeah, I'm sure I could fit it in my schedule," I said.