The Doctor will see you NOW [4] boyxboy

Twenty

*** So many updates. Happy New Year :)

He followed me out the door silently and I led him down the street and onto the main bike path. "To my right instead."

"Sir? Oh, standing? Um, here?"

"You don't need to be six paces behind me Pet, just far enough back that you can follow me easily. Think of it as a dance. You will be able to anticipate where I'm going and I don't have to worry about where you are. I want you on the right for our walk so that you're safer from runners and bicycles passing. Is that enough of an explanation to quiet that busy brain of yours?"

"Oh that makes sense Sir. But it's um, getting dark."

I had no idea what to say to that. Yes, it was dusk and getting dark. I'd learned though that he didn't often make idle chatter even though it sometimes felt that way. "Is it a problem? I can not stop the world from spinning on its' axis."

"I just don't... um I don't really like the dark and I don't know where I am."

"You're right behind me. Why are you worrying about this? If we needed a flashlight I would have brought one. I have my phone. I have walked this trail approximately two thousand times and never once have I gotten lost. You need to be fucked in the worst way, don't you?"

"You're right about all of that, Sir. Okay, lead the way. I mean please?"

He followed behind me then and it was a comfortable silence, at least for me. I came to a rather unfortunate decision while I was thinking though, I couldn't just assume he was willing to be ravaged. He had to choose. I couldn't imagine that someone would just show up when asked if they didn't want to butChristopher's words over dinner had been pestering me for several days now. His comments had a way of doing that, of working themselves into my subconscious and refusing to be forgotten. Soon my thoughts were like water drops sliding down a window, some joining and forming wide rivers and others snaking down alone slowly. "Are you like this with everything?"

"Sir?"

"Are you one of those annoying people who tastes the turkey at the deli even though they order it often? Do you need to prove to yourself each week that you still like turkey?"

"Um, no. I don't understand."

"It's like you choose each day, or each scene, whether or not to trust me. I don't know which Chris I'm going to get -- one who submits or one who offers me half or who fights me until I prove myself. I've wondered before if it's exhausting because it seems so to me."

"I do trust you."

"You have decided to trust me for now. Never mind, if you don't even realize you're doing it there's no hope of actually solving anything. I've been on the other end of that enough to know, trust me. Ha, trust me. That wasn't a joke."

He didn't laugh. "I fight myself mentally a lot if that's what you mean. I know it frustrates you. I'm not doing it now though, am I?"

"You have let me do things to you that most people would never dream of but you weren't sure you could trust me to care for you while walking on the path."

"Oh, it's not you I just don't like the dark."

"It IS me, Christopher. But that's enough, I have a lot more to work through before we go home." I turned off the path and went back up towards the side street that crossed over. There would be streetlights forChristopher and he could relax a bit while he considered my offer. "Pet?"

"Yes Sir?"

"When we get back to my house you may go if you wish. It is up to you."

"Go? You mean home? I thought we were..."

"We will if you want to. I am more than happy to fuck you senseless. But I only want you to come inside if it's what you want to do Pet."

"I'm glad you're not calling me Mr. Stevenson any more; that was harsh Sir. Probably deserved, but harsh. I want to come in obviously. I enjoyed our walk though even if we didn't hold hands and look at the stars."

"There aren't any stars to see yet and I'm happy to hold lots of you in just a few minutes. But if it's really that important to you, fine." I stopped and turned, taking his hand in mine. I looked up but just as I had said there weren't any stars to be seen through the light pollution. He squeezed my hand and then relaxed it before squeezing it once again. He stared up towards the darkness for several minutes even though there wasn't much to look at.

"You forgave me."

"Of course I did."

"Thank you Sir. Take me home please? I want to be yours."

"Is that hole of yours feeling a bit lonely? I'll make you feel much better than that plug did. Getting well fucked is one thing I hope you've figured out that you don't need to worry about."

"Oh I know you'll take good care of me Sir, I have no doubt."

"Good."