The Worst Things in Life Come Free to us|L.R.H

64- idk what to call this chapter lol

He's been ignoring me for two days now. I don't know why, and no body else does, because we all know he hates himself for what happens, and I can see it whenever he can bring himself to look at me.

It's painful. My anxiety is getting the most of me, and I can barely eat, that and I d don't really want to that much.

Up till two days ago I was eating breakfast lunch and dinner, and a small snack between most of them. I

I was eating like a normal human being and I was proud. But now I'm ill with hunger but I refuse to eat and Luke is ignoring me and won't tell me why.

Last night he slept on the sofa, and when I woke up from a nightmare screaming, I knew it woke him up, but he didn't come and see me.

He completely ignored me and I'm not going to lie and say that it didn't hurt because it did.

I walk into the kitchen and ignore Luke as I sit down and force myself to eat some break fast biscuits. I only eat two out of 4 before my throat is tight.

I make myself I small cup of water and drink some of it before everyone's at the door. Luke gets the door and Ashton and Michael and Calum and Ellie all try their hardest to lighten the dark, sad and quiet mood of the room, but it doesn't work very well, it kind of just results in awkward silence. When Ashton asks if we're ready to go, I don't say anything, so I just sling my bag on my shoulder and walk out the door.

I hop into Michael and Calum's car and Luke jumps in the opposite one.

I'm close with all my friends, and in different ways. Michael was the first boy who I met, he was the first one who showed me kindness and now he's the one who I love for his stupid jokes, his cuddles and his cute ways. Then I met ashton, he gave me my tour around the school because he had dropped out and he took me to that party and told me to smile and helped me open my locker, and now, almost seven moths later, he's the boy who says his wise, wonderful words that help me, the boy who breaks down but not often and that's because he's the rock under too much pressure, and he's the boy that you can't help adore because he's simply wonderful. Soon after that, I met Ellie at her party, and god, was that party bad, but I wouldn't trade meeting that girl for the world; she was the only one who managed to pick me up when Luke and I split and left me fallen on the floor, she's the girl that's my best friend and is the only one I can moan about my periods and can understand, the only one gets my girl ways, our girl ways.

Then I met Luke, and god, holy shit, he was the most recklessly perfect human I'd ever seen; I thought he was a dick from the moment I saw him, in all honesty, but it turned out differently, it turned out he only wanted to help- because at the end of the day he was broken, he was sad, and he was utterly miserable.

But so was I.

And I remember that night when I was walking home from that boring party and the rain wouldn't stop pouring, and despite me treating him rudely earlier that day, he still offered me a ride because he's that kind of guy- and now he's my boyfriend, my beautifully, incredible boyfriend who I wouldn't trade for the world.

And there was Calum. Sweet, sweet, quiet, and weird, and wonderful Calum. Who was the boy who held me after that day at the beach when I was breaking down, he's the boy that doesn't say much but I can every emotion because they bleed in his eyes, and he's the boy with the smile that can brighten my day.

I love every single one of them unconditionally and I would happily die if it meant their lives would stay.

Once we've finally arrived at school, I realise the boys have both been trying to talk to me the whole way, but I've been too lost in thought to realise.

When I leave to climb out the car, I try to walk away as quickly as possible, but Michael grabs me. I try so hard not to flinch.

He tries hard not to notice.

"Calum just had to rush off to see Mr. Crawford, but he wanted to know if you are well enough to go to football?" he asks.

I jerk back.

"Well?" I shudder out in a bitter tone.

He sighs.

"Well we've all noticed you're not exactly eating fine, and you know it," he says, in an almost frustrated tone.

"I'll be fine," I say sternly, angrily, and I yank myself out of his grip before storming of into school.

*

"Tessa? Tessa? Pass the damn ball!" I hear someone screaming at me, but it's like there's a bubble around me and their voice is trying to get through it. Suddenly everything seems slow, my heart feels heavy and the world is spinning.

I cant tell if I'm going to be sick or not but I know I can feel the blood rushing out of my face quicker than anything.

"Tess!" I hear Calum shout, but that's all before I fall to the floor; not passed out, and I'm not unconscious but I know my blood pressure is low and this is from my lack of food.

I feel a hand on my back and I know it's Calum because it's his voice talking to me.

"Move away! Stop crowding!" I hear what must be Shaun shout.

"Tessa, Tessa, can you hear me?" Calum asks and I cant to much but nod.

I feel heavy. When i throw up it hurts more than anything, because there's nothing for me to throw up. I haven't eaten, not since this morning and that's long gone.

"When was the last time you ate, hun?" he asks me, and I just shake my head, aware the rest of the time is listening in.

He asks me the same question, more sternly this time.

"I a-ate this morning." I manage out.

"And before that?" he pushes.

"n-nothing," I begin to get to my feet but Calum forces me down. I can't seem to look anyone in the eye.

"You're not going anywhere," Calum assures and he takes my hand. He asks someone to get his water bottle for him.

He forces me take sips and I do.

"I'm sorry," I struggle not to cry. He tells me it's okay.

They all do.

But it's not okay because I look weak, I look pathetic, and I know it.

*

noT LONG LEFTTT TILL THIS BITCH IS OVER;-;

IM GONNA MISS IT

BUT I'M SORRY THIS CHAPTER WAS SHORT AND BORING MY WRITING IS SO SHIT AHAHAHAAH

ANYWAYS

ILYASM AND UR RLLY CUTE ILY