The Worst Things in Life Come Free to us|L.R.H

63- 'The Talk'.

Tessa pov:

I'm not gonna lie, when we got home I was mildly prepared for Luke to lecture me, or try soothe me into eating something, even though I'll refuse, and I just want him to understand because I've already told him before, sometimes, I'm not going to want to eat, just because that's me. I thought he understood that; apparently not.

But when we get in, our friends are there. And we didn't know they were coming over.

When we walk in Michael and Calum are snuggled on the sofa, arms around eachother, and Ashton and Ellie are bopping eachother on the nose.

As much as I love my friends, and their always welcome around my house, I kind of wish they weren't here. I just want to sleep, I just want to sit in silence, and I want to talk through this with luke.

But I don't.

They all snap their heads up and grin at us, I let out a small sigh and smile back.

I see Luke send me a glare.

I try to ignore him but nobody else does, they all furrow their eyebrows.

I walk away; I cant face their questions.

I take the carrier bags out of Luke's hands, and with weak arms carry them into the kitchen, ignoring the stares the rest of my friends are giving me.

After a minute or so, when I'm unpacking the food into the fridge, holding back bile, Luke comes in, a stern look on his face.

"what the hell was that?" his voice is angry and sympathetic and I don't know what to say.

"What the hell was what?" I hiss in a whisper. Desperate for them not to hear me, to hear us arguing, and I also cant trust myself to speak any louder because I know if I do, I'll fall apart.

"you couldn't have looked more fake if you tried." He spits, and ouch, does that hurt.

What the hells got into him?

Tears begin to glass over my eyes and realisation shatters him.

"Oh princess I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that!" he says, and he tries to grab me or hug me but I refuse to let him close.

"Then what the hell did you mean, Luke?" I ask, my voice verging on a shout.

"I don't know I thought you'd maybe make more of an effort to stop yourself looking so fucking depressed!" I can't believe it.

"You dick! What's got into you? You're just as fucking depressed as I am, you woke up in a good mood but the second I fucking I didn't want to eat something you were in a shitty mood!" I yell, and at this point I'm shaking. I'm shaking with anger and sadness and I can't tell if I'm crying or not.

"Them maybe you should just try suck it up and eat!" and that's when I really snap.

And I don't even care that suddenly everyone is in the room, looking at Luke with the biggest look of disgust.

"I told you when you kissed Morgan, and broke my fucking heart, in that letter back, that I'm not always going to be easy to date, I'm not always going to be okay, I'm not always going to eat and some days," I bite my lip really hard and close my eyes. "some days, I'm not even going to be able to get out of bed, and you promised that you didn't care, and that you'd stay by me in that, but right now, I'm wondering if you actually meant that,"

With that, my voice cracks and I run out the house. As soon as I close the doors, I hear the shouting erupt.

This time I don't run, I just walk.

And when I reach the park where Luke and I spent hours of our night, staring at the stars, I collapse to the floor.

Just like that, and I can't stop crying.

I cry and I cry because I'm not good enough for him, because I don't eat and Luke thinks I'm disgusting, and he probably doesn't want to talk me again.

All too soon, a pair of arms wrap around me from behind and I have no idea who it is until I hear their voice.

"C'mon, it'll be okay Tess," Ashton whispers in my ear, I turn around only to tuck my head into his chest. I strokes my head and whispers soft things into my ear, when he pulls away we sit cross legged and I lean my head on his shoulder.

We sit in silence for a long time.

"How you feeling beautiful?" he asks, I shrug because I honestly don't know the answer.

"Does he hate me?" I ask quietly.

He chuckles.

"He hates himself more than anyone," he sighs. "Besides, he could never hate you sweet cheeks," I smile in relief.

"Alright, I guess that's good," I say, looking up at the still, cold, afternoon sky.

"Yeah, Cal and Mikey are looking after him," I nod. I try and smile. "What actually started it?"

I shrug, just a small shrug.

"Nothing really, he got annoyed because I didn't want to eat and then at the food shop he said we'd talk, and then we got back I was just tired. He got all bitchy and shit because my smile wasn't very convincing, and then he confronted me about it," he nods, but he seems distant. "And I mean, I know I shouldn't have brought up Morgan, but he was completely out of order,"

He nods again.

And with that, we begin to walk back home, where all is quiet.

"Luke's upstairs," they say cautiously, and I nod.

I go into the kitchen and make myself a drink before sitting down on the sofa, next to Calum.

He pulls me into him.

And I spend the rest of the night with them by my side wondering if Luke's worrying just as much as I am.

*

this was short and terrible i'm really sorry, but this book is coming to and end soon- i cri

anyways, stay positive, and i hope to update before Christmas, but if not, have a fucking amazing Christmas if you celebrate it, and remember ily