The Worst Things in Life Come Free to us|L.R.H

16- Skinny.

apologize if this is a possible trigger to you or you dislike this, it's just and idea of how skinny Tess is:)

[ just wanted to clear some things up before going into this chapter!

*the beach was on a Wednesday, and Tessa tried to kill herself on the same day, as well.

*she almost died and was out for 3 days, before waking up on a Saturday, around 4 ish.

*luke got into the fight on the saturday around 5, when everybody was at Tessa's.

*so it's now Sunday, and they all have the day off, it being the weekend.

i'm probably going to start writing the days and other information at the beginning of chapters:) ]

Also, appreciate the cute pic of luke sleeping:))

- sunday morning -

depression is a strange thing.

it creeps up on you, quiet and still, sits by your side in the dark, strokes your hair as you sleep. it wraps itself around your bones, squeezing tight, so tight you almost can't breathe. it's a constant companion, clasping your hand only to yank you down when you're struggling to stand up, catching your tears only to force them back down your throat. it scares you by simply standing by your side.

you wake up in the morning and wonder who you are. you fail to fall asleep at night because you tremble in your skin.

and even when your ready to let go, when you're ready to break free, depression is an old friend, standing beside you in the mirror, looking you in the eye and challenging you to live your life without it.

depression is a bitter, wretched companion, and sometimes it won't let go.

*

my feet pad along the cold, wooden floor, and i pull my blanket closer around myself.

i'm alone.

there's no noise in the house other than my disappointed breath and bare feet.

what did i expect? they're not going to stay, not being mean, but i can't make them stay; they have lives to get on with, too.

i guess i just hoped, for once i'd wake up with something other than my tired reflection and medication to greet me in the morning.

i sigh and run a hand through my blonde tangles, though i know it's not, because i washed it yesterday, my hair feels greasy to me and i feel dirty, so i decide to have another shower.

as i go to grab my towel from the drying cupboard, i catch the time on the clock, 10.30.

i never, ever, get up that late, or sleep for that long, this must be like a record for me.

my guess is the medication, they subscribed me to heavier drugs, and they usually make you sleep longer.

as i step through the bathroom door, i make a mental note to myself to research it later.

good ol' google.

i strip myself of my pajamas and step into the shower, after pressing the play button on my music.

my favorite All Time Low playlist plays, slightly muffled by the heavy, hot water.

but this doesn't stop me belting it out at the top of my lungs.

the water continues to run over my skinny body and i continue to sing, my thoughts travel to Luke and suddenly the water is hiding my tears as i swallow back the lump in my throat.